By Valkyrie Lightning
by 8DRainbowManVan8D
Summary: Tony Stark was used to leading an unusual life. When he woke up to the sight of a beautiful Valkyrie in an unknown place, he could honestly say he'd had weirder mornings. The whole working for Odin as one of his generals was new though. So was fighting in a war against a Mad Titan. Causing a whole lot of mischief in between? That was a typical Tuesday. AU set in Asgard. FrostIron.
1. Chapter 1

Please see author's note at the end for clarification on things.

Also, please review so I know I should even continue or delete this.

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_Introduction_

Afghanistan was the ending and yet also the beginning of life for Anthony Stark. It marked the end of careless days filled with blasé meetings with random women. The end of weapons built bigger and stronger for the highest price. It marked the end of his human heart. For Tony went into those caves with a heart that still beat on its own and had left with a metal one.

He had no complaints, except you know… The nightmares.

.:.:.

Holding a hand to the reactor in his chest, Tony spread his fingers watching the light shine through. Drumming his fingers deep in thought, he took a deep swig of the beer in his hand. No scotch tonight, not when the idea was to get completely tanked. It would be such a waste of the good stuff. Looking at the half assembled suit laying on the bench, gouges still deep in the plate mirroring the red stained bandages on the side of his face, he rubbed at his mouth. Leaning further back into the chair he was lounging in, with a deep sigh through his nose he stared at the ceiling. The beer was just barely hanging on to the cusp of his fingertips, contemplating his life thus far.

Tony –he would never say so of course –was a lonely man, having lost so much to Stane's insanity. His ability to trust in others, Rhodey, _Pepper… _just gone_._ His connection to the outside world became that much smaller. To be honest, his existence was just a sad excuse of a life and Tony knew it.

He constantly missed Pepper…

He had always been a man of science, the intellect the likes of which most could not claim to have. He was always improving, making his suits better, faster, stronger. For where he fell short, his suits more than made up for the slack. And word spread of his noble deeds, a hero among men. Certainly, his tongue could get him in more trouble than many would deem worth it, but to those who saw actions spoke louder they were mesmerized by this man who burned so brightly, just like a star. It was as if his dark past was simply forgotten and he'd like to keep it that way, even if he himself wasn't able.

The bottle slipped from his grasp and clanged against the ground, spilling the remaining contents before rolling away. He stared at it from the corner of his eye, wondering if he could get Dum-E to come and clean it, but thought better of it. His lab was already a mess anyway, what good would picking up a single bottle do?

Scrubbing at his eyes roughly he held his palms to his eyes, pressing harshly. God, he hated this introspection shit! Always made him so melancholy.

"Jarvis."

"Yes, sir?"

"Play some Led Zeppelin, I don't care what. But I need a change of tone here, I'm drownin'." Tony rolled his chair closer to the damaged suit; drunkenly tilting his head to the side to better see it.

"Of course, sir." Tony's pupils dilated with delight as soon as 'Immigrant Song' began and his head started nodding along with the beat, a tiny smirk lighting his face. Snagging another beer from the cooler beside his feet, he cocked an eyebrow.

"So let's see here, scrap metal, how can I fix ya so this problem doesn't happen again." He pointed to the side of his face, "Because this? This can't happen again. I like this face, it's the only one I've ever had and I'm really attached to it, ya see? And it's such a good-looking face. Be such a shame if it became scarred."

Throwing back as much of the beer as he could, Tony set the bottle down and began pulling the remaining pieces of the suit apart. And as more songs spilled out around him, buffering the nightmares that had blanketed him with thick hot itchy despair, his shoulders loosened with inebriety and sweet relief.

And Tony did what he did best, he tinkered and he improved and he ignored the sad little pit in his stomach.

.:.:.

"Sir."

Tony rolled his head away from a stray streak of light that was burning through his eyelids, making his head pound.

"Sir."

He groaned and covered his face with his arms, the chair he was resting in creaking menacingly so. If only the AI pestering him would leave him the hell alone too so he could get back to sleep where hangovers were nothing but distant possibilities.''

"Sir, I insist."

"Jarvis, buddy, leave me alone! I'm tryin' to sleep like the dead and avoid this hangover completely! Let me be in peace, I beg of you!"

"It's Fury on the line. He says it is urgent and that you need to head into SHIELD right away."

Cracking an eye open, Tony glared at the ceiling. "So Patchy wants to actually deal with me today, how unexpected. What, did the entire population die last night of some freak viral break out and I'm the only one left?"

"Very funny, sir. But I believe he said that he needed you there as soon as possible and that he'd explain everything soon as you had arrived. I'm certain this call is more a formality to ensure you get the message than anything."

Scoffing, Tony hid his eyes as throbbing pulsed in his temples. Might as well get it over with. "Urrrrrgh, patch him through."

"Of course, sir." The sound of a hologram screen popping online filled the lab.

"Mr. Stark, how surprising it is that you _actually_ answered this time. What an improvement." Fury snidely commented, eye burning on Stark's person.

Tony lifted one hand from his face and pointed at Fury. "Now see there? That's where you're wrong. Gotta keep things fresh, otherwise I'd become predictable and we can't have that, now can we?" He smiled as innocently as a shark at Fury, eyebrows lifted high. He watched the spy's lips tighten in displeasure, imagining his fists doing the exact same.

"Quite… We can't have that…" He agreed haltingly. With a deeper glare, Fury nodded to Tony. "Regardless, I need you in SHIELD today. I need to brief you on something big that you'll be interested in hearing."

Tony perked at that, then trying to seem more nonchalant, he casually leaned forwards, hiding his eyes from the lights. "Oh? And what could the big bad Fury need my help with?"

"_Can_ _it_, Stark. Just get your ass over here pronto. Fury out."

The screen snapped closed with hardly a noise and Tony leaned back in his chair, once more staring at the ceiling. Contemplating the situation, Dum-E rolled up holding a tray with a glass of water and Ibuprofen. Taking those in hand, he thought over whether he really even wanted to go to Fury like some good little puppy. Standing up, he winced at the stiffness he felt from sleeping in a chair and the ache that always followed from excessive drinking. Looking around the lab as blood rushed to his head, he spied the proof that he'd been avoiding for days.

He was avoiding his room, too many bad memories haunting him and his mansion. With another wince he decided.

"Jarv, I'm headin' out. God only knows how long I'll be gone. Take care of the house for me, would ya pal?"

"Of course, sir."

With a smirk, Tony put on his new and improved suit, shooting out of his mansion towards SHIELD headquarters. Fury was the lesser of two evils anyway.

.:.:.

When Fury said something big, he meant catastrophic. Apparently, Doom and his bots had gotten ahold of some top-secret tech and had decimated half of downtown. Tony had almost all his near endless supplies of money on bet that it was Hammer Tech. Figures, morons stealing from morons.

Sweeping across the sky, he shot down towards the grim outline of burning crumpled buildings. The smell of plastics melting and other such unsavory scents wafted around him as the sounds of screaming grew louder. Clenching his lips together, he couldn't help the cold fury that slowly engulfed him. Ignorant egotistical and power hungry fools like Doom were the bane of all greater good.

He made sure he stared hard at each broken charred building, confused terrified people running, limping, crawling. He made sure he stared at the ones on the ground not moving, halos of red pooling around them. Even as his stomach felt sick, he watched as he shot by, to remind him why he did what he did.

A giant blast and screeching of metal cut his thoughts off short and he quickly rolled and shot off into the direction of the noise. The number of people running in the opposite direction of Tony increased exponentially. And right as he turned the corner, a Doombot with a blue glowing cube held in its hand was going haywire. Electric static shot off of it in random directions, its limbs twitching violently, it's weapons triggering and firing every which direction.

Tony jumped forwards, huddling around a little girl as bullets pelted off his back, her screams filling his head. He held her closer as he heard thuds of those around him hit the ground, their screams choked off.

"Run," he gritted through his teeth and he swirled around to face the Doombot, repulsers raised and whining as they charged, the little girl running as fast as she could. The Doombot's head twitched violently towards him just as Tony's repulsers shot out. The bot flew backwards into a collapsed building, pulverizing the remaining wall, concrete dust and shrapnel billowing out in toxic clouds.

Standing upright, Tony cautiously moved forwards, stepping as lightly as possible towards the pile where the bot was. Sensors running a mile a second, eyes peeled for any signs of movement.

"Jarvis, anything?"

"Nothing new that my scanners are picking up. Though, the energy pouring off this Doombot is abnormally high."

"Tell me something I don't know," Tony snarked as he looked about at the damage surrounding him, hands dropping down to his sides. He stepped over a giant chunk of infrastructure, spinning in a slow circle. "The bot was so full, it was sparking. Any more juice, and its head would've popped right off. POP! Just like a pimple."

"Quaint, sir."

"Oh don't I know it. Never seen one that strong before though, Doomie's steppin' up his game." He smirked as the dust cleared, his faceplate snapping up. Tony ignored the smells that made his nose burn and eyes water, instead looking to see if any survivors were trapped within the rubble nearest him. Just as he closed his hand around another, a deep rumbling made the ground tremble. Heaving the person to their unsteady feet, he shoved them along, faceplate slamming down once more. In perfect time too, as the Doombot from before, burst from the rubble, chunks of rock once more flying through the air.

"Oh, don't you know when to stay down, ya piece of junk?" Tony scoffed in ill humor. The mangled metal looked at him, one arm crushed completely off; half it's face ground into the cement behind it, legs dented and barely moveable. But the arm that held that blue cube was still glowing a bright orange, sparks flying every direction.

It shot up into the air hap hazardously and with a curse, Tony flew up after it, firing repulser blast after another. It lost altitude with each hit until finally, with an unholy screech, it began firing back. Tony, dodging back down began weaving through the collapsed and collapsing buildings, hoping to cause the nearly destroyed machine to crash. The thing continued firing, its aim blown straight to hell, hitting everything and anything.

Hearing a scream, Tony looked down in time to see a young couple cowering beside a small structure that, having been shot, was now toppling towards them. He quickly flew in between, positioning his arms to hold the best he could. Indescribable weight pressed down on him, his suit whining and whirring as the pressure increased. The couple looked at him in absolute terror. Just as he was opening his mouth, the sound of malfunctioning boosters filled the air behind him.

Looking over his shoulder, he saw the Doombot, raising its arm to fire. Panic flooded through Tony, unable to move due to the weight and honor bound to protect the civilians on his opposite side to the bot.

"Run!" The couple hunkered down, as bullets ricocheted everywhere, screams echoing. Tony gnashed his teeth. Fuck! What should he do?! "God damn it, RUN!"

The two booked it out as fast as possible and Tony taking the moment he had while the bot reloaded its ammunition, he hefted the building as fast and hard as he could, the rubble crushing the bot with a small explosive boom. Tony panted as hydraulic fluid and the likes flowed out from beneath the rubble. Stumbling to his knees, the numbers in the suit began flashing red.

"Sir, it appears that the weight of the building has caused major damage in the right leg and arms."

"Yeah Jarv… I can see that." Tearing off his helmet, Tony gasped in fresh air, heart pulsing a mile a minute. The sound of static arcing from the ground had him looking up as the pile of metal and concrete bulged upwards. "…. Oh you've got to be fuckin' kidding me…"

The hand holding the cube lifted itself from the depths and shot up into the sky, where another three Doombots were floating. Tony stared at them harshly wondering when the hell they'd even arrived. The closest bot snatched the cube, prying the melted fingers from off of it and immediately started sparking and going nuts. It touched the two beside it and in tandem; they all began shaking and groaning. Like bullets, they flew towards Tony and with a curse he jumped back too late.

He crashed backwards, his unprotected head knocking against the ground making him see stars. Fuck!

Quickly hopping back up, if unsteadily, Tony lifted his repulsers, firing at the closest bot as it bobbed and weaved blasting at him as well, forcing him to step back and dodge to avoid damage to his already abused head. Taking off into the sky, he made it twenty feet upwards before his back boosters gave out and he lost control maniacally flying this way and that, a high pitched groan signaling more damage than he'd previously thought.

"Shit!" Landing rough, he rolled as best he could to absorb the impact, twisting and turning, firing out shots at the steadily approaching overpowered machines. This volatile dance continued until a misstep had Tony stumbling back, shoulders knocking hard against a wall. Bullets pierced through right beside his head and the wall crumbled. Tony rolled best he could to escape the majority, his foot becoming trapped. Hitting the rubble with all his might, he jerked his foot free, a painful pop filling his ears.

Biting back a hiss, he hopped to his feet, the missiles on his shoulders shooting forwards just as his knee gave out from beneath him, a searing pain stabbing up from his ankle. The bots screeched as they were hit, ones chest exploding outwards with heat and noise and fire. The other two steadily approached, cube still grasped in one hand.

Tony, lifted himself back up as he hobbled away and into a broken but half standing building, avoiding the rain of bullets as they tore past him. Running as best he could up the stairs, he quickly ducked into a room. A half decimated couch and cracked TV greeted him, his vision swimming and red staining one eye. Swiping at his forehead, his gauntlet pulled away smeared in crimson. "God damn it… I already said we had to fix this problem. I really need my face."

Stepping over to the couch he flopped down into it and stared off at the entrance, wanting a beer badly. His eyes slowly rolled over to look at the dust covering everything, wondering how it had come to this. What a way to go.

He lowered his gaze to the doorway, the last of his missiles prepping. If he was to die, then he'd take them with him. He _would_ protect his people.

The sounds of the floor crunching under heavy metal reached his ears and he saw the twitching bots enter the room, guns smoking and already spinning. With a smirk Tony laughed.

"You guys don't know what you've got yourselves into." They stepped closer as Tony gestured around him. "Cuz, ya see, when Tony Stark throws a party. It's sure to be one remembered forever. And well, they've been known _to bring the house down._"

With a quick recalculation on his part, Tony shifted his shoulders and fired at the main support beam behind the Doombots. They didn't even flinch as the whole place began groaning ominously. And Tony couldn't help but laugh.

"See you kiddies in hell!"

The whole place collapsed around them.

.:.:.

If there was one thing that Herja knew, it was that over the centuries the number of true warriors called to Valhalla dwindled to merely nothing. To be called once more to watch upon a battle was such a rare honor. She watched the metal man as he danced through the buildings, teasing and taunting the other metal men that chased him.

This world had become so strange in the time that she had last been here. Midgard was such a volatile place, never one thing remaining for long. She stepped forwards as the building they had all went inside began to crumple. Calling her lightning, she moved to the mortal man's side, kneeling beside him, her shield covering their bodies before Hel could ensnare him with her icy fingers. This man was needed for more important things; a warrior such as this could not be allowed to be wasted. Especially since the last one that had been called had been nearly a century ago. And as rocks and other debris fell round them, she watched the two metal men be crushed before her very eyes, a familiar blue light snuffed out.

Snagging ahold of the small man's lolling head, knocked unconscious by the might of her lightning, she hefted him into her arms. In another flash of lightning, she was in the halls of Valhalla, the gold walls glittering like the sun. Carrying the man in her arms, many of her shield sisters stopped in surprise and delight as they saw him. Many whooped with victory, fists raised high in praise, spears and swords clanging against great shields. Herja smirked back at them, eyes glowing with pride as well as she stepped into the barracks. She placed the man upon a bed and began to clean him up, removing the stained and dented and incredibly strange armor he wore.

She pulled the torn clothing from his bloodied skin, wiping a rag along him. With each swipe of the golden cloth, the wounds disappeared, pink healthy skin left behind. As she swiped along his skull, the chest heaving below her eased. Moving along his ankle, the sweating ceased and clenched teeth relaxed. Having seen to his dire needs, she dressed him in soft loose clothing and stood.

"Rest warrior and be at peace. You are home here in Valhalla."

.:.:.

If there was one thing worse than letting a building collapse on your head was waking _up_ after letting a building collapse on your head. Sweet Jesus did his head hurt! Groaning, he rolled onto his side, holding at his head.

"Jarvis… Some Ibuprofen please, Daddy's gotta _killer_ headache."

"… I am not your Jarvis that you speak of." An amused _female_ voice answered. Tony, not expecting that, jerked to sitting up, head throbbing angrily in protest.

"What the..? Who the hell are you?" He then raised his hands in placation. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, seriously you're drop dead gorgeous. But really, what's with the Xena get up? Did you just come from some hardcore LARPing? Not gonna lie, the armor's badass. Super brownie points."

The woman's eyebrows merely furrowed more and more in bemusement as he spoke. Shaking her head, "You're words mean nothing to me. What is LARPing? Is it a form of battle or stratagem?"

Tony burst out laughing. "Yeah, you could say that."

The woman looked at the bed thoughtfully, and then looked in his eyes seriously. "Then you shall have to teach me this art of LARPing that I may better myself."

And again, Tony couldn't help it. He really couldn't. He burst out laughing, grasping at his aching stomach as the really _big _–holy shit! –woman frowned in insult. "Will do, Xena." He gasped out between giggles. "But first off, where the hell am? And, once again, who the hell are you?"

He looked around at the fairly Spartan if luxurious in color room, not recognizing a thing as the woman bowed her head deeply. "My apologies. I am Herja, a Valkyrie of Asgard and the halls of Valhalla. You are currently in the barracks of those such halls."

It was now Tony's turn to stare on in confusion. "Asgard? Valhalla? You mean like that place where Vikings believed they went to after death?"

Herja scowled menacingly at him. "Vikings were known to be plundering fools and cross pigs, rare was the honest one." She motioned around her. "No, Valhalla is where _worthy_ warriors of time gather to join my Father's army to fight against Ragnarok. I was the one to pull you from the rubble and the one who brought you back from the brink."

He stared at her wide-eyed, not sure if he was being punked or if this was all just a really long vivid dream brought on by too much alcohol. She smiled at him.

"Be proud, warrior. Long has it been that someone has been called into our halls to fight alongside us Asgardians." She lifted her fist to him, brandishing it with pride. "We are to be shield brothers and sisters to each other when that day comes! I look forward to getting to know you."

Standing up she brushed her pleated armor down around her thighs –her _magnificent _thighs, Tony couldn't help but notice –and moved to the window, pulling the curtains back, golden light filling the room.

"But alas, that shall wait for another time, shield brother. Odin and his generals wish to speak to you." She grinned back at him, head tilting, her golden curls softly falling down her back to brush at her spine. "You are something of an oddity nowadays. The last warrior called was seventy or so years ago."

She shook her head, bereft. Herja then laughed and clapped Tony on the shoulder. "I suspect there shall be a feast tonight in celebration. And in your honor!" She shoved him in the chest playfully –Tony hid his wince as best he could. "We shall have you out and about in no time!"

She stepped away to the door and glanced back as she exited. "Now that you are up, I shall call someone to fetch you to be presented before my Father." And with that she was out the door and Tony was left feeling like he'd just had the rug pulled out from under his feet.

"Well…. _Shit._"

.:.:.

Thor stomped down the hallways, a smile bright upon his face. There was magnificent news to be had and the rumors were that a new warrior had joined them here in Valhalla. Herja his Valkyrie sister must have been successful in her endeavors watching over a mighty battle. He hurried faster, cape billowing behind him, Mjolnir gripped tightly in his hands. Finally, another man worthy to call Asgard home! Making his way quickly to the barracks, he practically danced into the room with the only closed door.

The man inside jumped, arms raised above his head, a flowing shirt caught around his elbows, chest exposed showing off a glowing blue circle, and his head peeking out from the neck in wide-eyed bewilderment.

"_Seriously. _Does no one here know how to knock?" The small –if Thor was completely honest –man glared at him as he pulled the shirt down around his waist, the light color of it and thinness allowing the light in his chest to shine through. Thor wondered at that as the man crossed his arms. "Can I help you, Blondie? Or are ya just here to enjoy the show? I mean, c'mon, it _is_ a pretty nice show, it is me we are talking about. But, I'm gonna have to start charging people for staring, fifty bucks per blink."

Thor, in confusion tilted his head. "… What?"

The tiny man huffed and motioned at Thor. "No seriously, fifty a _blink_. You already owe me like 250 already, MC Hammer." The man stopped and tilted his head leaning towards Mjolnir in curiosity. "What's the hammer for anyway? It's pretty huge… is it compensation?"

He then stood back up straight, eyes roving over Thor's person, a weird little smirk alighting upon his face. "And what is it with all the people and the medieval armor and Shakespearian ways of speaking? Swear to god it's like I've been sucked back in time to when… well when time sucked." His brow's furrowed. "What-What time is it anyway?"

Thor smirked, finally understanding what was coming out of the strange man's mouth. "It is just past midday, my friend." He then frowned hefting Mjolnir higher. "And this, this is no compensation. Mjolnir has seen me through many a battle and countless victories. One may never know when an attack is coming. T'is always better to be over prepared than under."

The man smiled up at him, pointing at him. "My kinda man." He threw his arms wide and looked about the room. "My uh… my Valkyrie friend said that someone was coming to collect me for a meeting with her father?"

Thor's eyes widened and again the smile split his face as boisterous laughter filled the room. "Of course! My mistake, I was excited to be meeting you myself I had forgotten. Please, let us go at once. Odin shall be very interested in meeting you…?"

"Oh! Name's Tony. Tony Stark." The little man smirked up at him, one eyebrow cocked to the side.

"Very well, I am Thor." He opened the door for Tony, closing it behind them. As they walked down the hall, Tony's eyes alighting on everything, bright with childlike wonder and awe. Thor couldn't help but smile more. Leading them both down the correct path, he opened his mouth once more.

"He'll be very pleased to meet you, Tony Stark."

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**1.)** Herja is _not_ an OC. She is in fact an actual Valkyrie that is mentioned in Norse mythology. As well, Odin is homologous with Wōden. They are one in the same. Therefore, I used the name Odin to tie everything together better and reduce confusion as best I could. This will be a mix of Norse mythology and Marvel cannon as well as –obviously –AU. That being said, any actual confusion will be answered in the chapters themselves. If it still remains, IT WILL BE EXPLAINED IN ENDING AUTHOR'S NOTES.

**2.) **It didn't hit me until about halfway through to realize that Immigrant Song was very apt. Thought it funny enough to note.

**3.) **This is my first Avengers fiction so please, let me know how I've done. Leave a comment on what needs improvement or what you enjoyed. I need feedback to know whether I should have done this or not, I'm incredibly nervous.

**4.) **Thank you for your time whether you review or not. I'm glad you chose to read my story.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally done. My apologies. This is for the few who like this... monstrosity.

Please enjoy.

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_Chapter One_

Thor stomped down the hallways of Valhalla, the sting of the All Father's sharp tongue a burn against his wounded pride. It was naught but a short walk from one room down a few halls to the throne room. How?

And 'how what' might one ask? How in all of Asgard and Heimdall's all seeing eyes did Anthony Stark –mortal man and incredibly not stealthy –sneak off in said hallways without Thor even knowing? He stomped down the halls faster, hoping to catch wind of his misplaced charge.

Hopefully he found him before Odin did. His tongue was _quite_ sharp today. Thor winced in remembrance.

.:.:.:.

Tony couldn't tell you how he did it except for being completely awesome and exploiting it for all it was worth. He wanted to see this 'Valhalla' and all its splendiferous glory. When lo and behold, a sight it was to be seen! Gold here, gold there and –OH! Look! A good ol' healthy sprinkling of gold everywhere.

And people had the audacity to call _him_ opulent. They obviously haven't met the people here. Stumbling in awed circles –which he will forever deny looking like a gaping fish out of water –Tony tripped down a flight of stairs, noblemen and women alike watching him in utter bafflement. With a smirk and a wink in their directions, ignoring their growing confusion, he stepped from the foyer.

His breath promptly left his breast. He didn't know where the hell he was… but the sight was indeed a sight meant for the gods. A city that sparkled, that was the best he could think of at the moment. Slowly stepping down the grand golden stairs to the courtyard, passing countless intimidating guards in glittering armor, he missed the protests of excitement coming from within the castle of gold.

Instead, Tony continued his merry way down the path and into the town itself. Common folk of varying upbringings and professions stopped to stare at the rather small in comparison man and his peculiar expressions. Tony smirked and bowed once he met a town square in the midst of the huge sea of folk.

Stepping atop the lip of a fountain, he bowed extravagantly several times, exclaiming, "Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week!"

Many heads more turned to boggle at the strange man as several murmurs erupted in the crowd.

"Who in the name of the Nine?"

"I am confused. To what is he speaking of?"

"What a strange man…"

"He is quite tiny, isn't he?"

Having caught the less than subtle whisper, Tony glared down at the man who had accused him of being short and hopped from the fountain, choosing silence as the better path of valor. Grumbling about freakishly tall people in odd clothing, he didn't hear the person behind him until a voice spoke.

"It's not often that there is such a big commotion in the commons."

Tony, startled, looked up to spy a tiny red headed woman staring at him blankly. Thin black leather armor practically molded to her skin, she cocks a brow as she catches him checking out her hips. With all the grace and poise that only Tony fucking Stark could pull off in moments of shame, he smirks wickedly at her.

"What can I say, Red, I'm a show stopper."

The red headed woman rolled her eyes as if his very existence was tedious. Tony kind of felt vaguely insulted. Wow, way to make a man feel impotent. Were his charms failing him? He decided to kick it up a notch.

"Say, errmmm, _sweetheart_, but where even are we?"

She gave him a look at the nickname, basically punching him in the face with her expression that she was less than impressed. Her arms crossed over her chest as she shifted weight from one foot to the other. "Asgard."

Tony hummed in thought, head tipped to the sky as he rubbed at his facial hair. "Uh-huh… And where's that?"

A tiny little smirk that sent unpleasant chills up his spine pulled at her lips as she lowered her arms. "It's exactly where it should be."

"Oh thanks. That cleared everything up perfectly. And now –now that you have given me the answer to the meaning of life and all its many mysteries –I can leave because now you're just wasting time. And time is precious."

The woman smirked at him and nodded before walking away herself. "Good luck then, Mr. Stark."

Staring after her retreating back and trying to ignore the fact that she was inherently creepy –yet sexy –Tony took note that he was actually taller than her.

Odd. Maybe she was what was considered a midget around here. Finally stepping from where he'd been standing for a while, also ignoring the last few lingering stares, he began walking in the direction he'd originally been headed in before stopping. The further into 'Asgard' he got, the darker it became. Eventually, the sound of music and laughter filled his ears and –like the proverbial moth to flame –Tony turned towards it and headed that way.

It turned out to be a tavern and became the first best worst decision he'd ever make in Asgard. At the sound of the door slipping shut quite loudly behind him, a few decidedly more sober heads turned to take him in. With a merry "'Ey!" and a slightly tipsy toast, they were back to their conversations and soaking up liquor with their beards. Tony felt vague repulsion mixed with markedly more jealousy.

Smiling, because this kind of scene he could get used to, Tony began his treacherous way through the boisterous people to the bar counter to get a better view and possibly a drink. It was total coincidence and good fortune that he happened to be beside a beautiful brunette in nice armor. She spared him a glare and looked back to the guffawing giant beside her before looking back to Tony in surprise.

Turning to her in bemusement, but smiling charmingly nonetheless, he watched as she smacked the giant red headed man in his impressive girthy gut to get his attention. The drink in his tankard spilled over and he choked upon the chicken in his mouth. Choking and glaring –as a very handsome blonde laughingly asked if he was alright –the giant turned to her, mouth open to yell when his eyes lifted to gaze upon Tony.

His bushy brows shot upward to his hairline and Tony watched as the blonde and a stern looking man in turn looked to him. Flashing them a cheeky wave, Tony turned back to face the counter. Tony felt that was the end of that for all of five seconds before a giant meaty paw landed on his shoulder and a hearty voice filled his ear cavity far too loudly.

"I've not seen you around here before, lad! What be your name?"

Tony stared at the thick fingers wrapped around his shoulder like a fleshy manacle and followed the massive arm to the giant that it was attached to. His eyes glowed with joviality and Tony relaxed the slightest bit.

He gently removed the hand –how could something that big even be considered a hand? –and grinned at the man. "Yeah, first time in these parts. Kinda just… fell into 'Asgard' as it were. Nice place though, if a bit simple for my tastes. Cozy, if you enjoy the whole '_let's murder that in the name of our ancestors'_ shtick." His grin grew at the vacant look upon the man's face. "Name's Tony Stark."

Recognition bloomed across all four faces, the blonde smiled as the woman's suspicion melted away, if only slightly. The stern man simply nodded once and that was that as the giant red headed monstrosity beside him boomed with laughter and shook the ground and his mighty stomach with it.

"So _you're_ who we've been hearing whispers of. An honor to meet a fellow warrior such as yourself. An honor indeed."

"Oh yes, Volstagg, and even better that it is a mortal one. We don't hardly see many of those anymore." The blonde stepped from his stool and came to present his flamboyantly masculine presence before Tony. There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that sparked a tickling of interest in Tony himself. The man held out his hand and smirked winningly at Tony. "The name's Fandral. If you could be so kind as to remember it, we would be in far better standing. I'll be sure to show you the same courtesies, Tony Stark."

As Tony grasped Fandral's hand, he was surprised as a soft kiss was placed upon his knuckles. The brunette smacked Fandral across the shoulder and Tony's hand was dropped in favor of rubbing at it.

"Keep yourself in control, Fandral. No need to flirt shamelessly with anything that carries a pulse."

The blonde merely smirked as he continued rubbing at his shoulder. "No need to be so jealous, my dear Lady Sif. Had I but known you were desperate for my attentions I would have only had you in my sights."

Her lip curled in disgust as Volstagg laughed with a mouthful of half masticated chicken, spraying it everywhere. Tony made sure to stay out of the danger zone as he chuckled. All eyes turned to him, the tenseness in the atmosphere from the two centering in on him. He just cocked his eyebrow and clapped. "As abnormal as this introduction is, now that I know the name of three of you." He pointed unabashedly to the still silent man. "Who are you?"

Volstagg, Sif, and Fandral all turned to look at their friend. His dark eyes stared Tony down before he bowed his head slightly. "Hogun."

Tony raised both eyebrows and leaned back. "Fair enough. Now," he slapped his hands upon the counter. "What does it take for a man to get a drink around here?"

Volstagg and Fandral lifted their tankards in boisterous cheer, a soft rolling of the eyes from Sif, as Fandral's hand fell to Tony's shoulder. What was with the touching? Though.. this hand was preferable to the other mit that kept grabbing at him earlier. He eyeballed the fat fingers mutinously. Fandral's voice brought him back to the present moment. "That, my dear friend, is a great question. Since it is your first time out and about, and it is with great honor that you –a mortal man –have proved your strength by making your way to Valhalla and Asgard. We, the warriors three and the Lady Sif shall buy your spirits for you tonight."

His expression turned quite serious even as his devious hand sneaked lower down Tony's back. "Do not take this show of goodwill lightly. T'is not often that we spend our own for drinks we do not intend to drink ourselves. Let this be a boon and a good welcome to friendship between us."

Tony swallowed at the suddenly serious atmosphere, even as he swatted at the wandering fingers. "Duly noted."

The charming smile was back upon Fandral's face, his mustache twitching in his merriment and his hand filled with his tankard lifted. "Aye! A tankard for my new friend here, Tony Stark! Today we celebrate the beginning of his glorious time in Asgard!"

Differing states of drunkenness cat called and whooped with delight as several tankards smashed together, liquor sloshing messily over the sides before quickly being guzzled back in a mans toast. Tony was honestly a bit touched and when he received his own tankard, the spirit of good company and pleasant music overtook him.

Laughing with Fandral as he poked fun at an ever growing more irritable Sif, a silent Hogun watching, and stealing food from an ever hungry Volstagg –'note to self,' Tony drunkenly thought '… Never _ever _steal from Volstagg's plate again' –the dusk turned to night as the drink continued and warmed him from the inside out.

It was in the midst of trying to balance the tankard on his forehead while a drunken Fandral and Volstagg cheered him on, a Sif denying he could, and a soft grin upon Hogun's face that the door to the tavern slammed open. The music stopped and all heads in the room turned to the violently thrown door, Tony having dropped his tankard into his lap, spilled alcohol everywhere with a yelp.

All was quiet as a man white with age and a glorious staff stood in the doorway, glowering like the hottest ember in the darkest fire, two ravens flying majestically into the tavern. It wasn't audible, but there was a collective gulp around the room that Tony could sense. Whoever this guy was, he was big shit to these people. Tony caught wind of the eye patch upon his face and burst into a fit of drunken giggles. That singular eye zeroed in on him as Fandral threw Tony down behind the counter, eyes big terrified saucers.

He leaned down and frantically whispered. "_Are you mad?! One does not laugh at Odin All Father!"_

Oh so _that_ was what Odin looked like. Tony continued to chuckle as he swiped at his eyes, an uncoordinated smile lighting his face in charming boyish humor. Despite himself, it was obvious Fandral softened at the sight, his burning eyes lightening. Tony rubbed at his forehead. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it! He reminded me of someone I know back home. Same glare and eye patch get up and everything!"

Tony was not quiet in his drunken ponderings, and soon the sound of approaching booted feet could be heard. The stools nearest to the place Tony was at on the floor screeched back as a chorus of 'All Father!' called out and one knee for each person was dropped to.

Glancing at the warriors three and the Lady Sif and well… everyone else, Tony noted that he was the only one not down on one knee. Well shit, there goes a good first impression.

He turned to look and nearly jumped at the sight of the burning eye on his person, staff gripped tight enough to hear the leather against the metal creak. The grim line of the All Father's mouth tightened only for a second before he spoke, "Anthony Stark. Son of Howard Stark; The man in Midgard known as the _Ironman_, one worthy to call Valhalla his home and to walk amongst the Asgardians… and our first meeting, instead of in the throne room as was decreed, nay, but in a common tavern with the man himself reeking of cheap mead and sitting upon the dirty floor like some common riff raff."

Tony could see Thor just around this mans shoulder wince ever so slightly. Tony looked back to Odin, his eye unimpressed and burning with ire. "You, whom I have welcomed into my halls with open arms and perfect hospitality, who has snubbed my attempts at geniality by _avoiding_ _that which was meant to be a feast in your honor come our first meeting_ and came to a tavern to drink himself to foolishness. I am not a man to be trifled with, Anthony Stark and I do not forgive easily the _foolishness_ of those around me. You have set a bad precedence of character with me and it would be in your best interest to adhere to a better mindset."

Tony grit his teeth as he stared up at the infuriating man. Slowly he stood unsteadily. "While I won't disagree that I skipped out on something probably important," several surprised gasps met his ears as he dared to talk back to Odin. "I will not be treated like some mindless dog. I. Am. _No one's mindless slave._ I am not your pawn to make your plans go whichever way you _decree_."

Odin's eye narrowed in outrage. "You are a soldier in m–"

"_I am not a soldier!"_

Odin stopped short, glowering at the shouted interruption. Thor looked between them both like a kicked puppy might; wanting to help but unsure if it were wise to speak against his father at the moment when it was true what he said.

The silence drug on as Odin and Tony stared each other down.

"A warrior then."

At the foreign voice, all turned to look at the man approaching Odin and Tony. Another blonde, though short haired and carefully sculpted hairdo, blue and red armor encased him. The tall muscular blonde nodded once and continued. "A warrior then of Odin's armies." He looked Tony up and down as he held out a hand. "Steve."

Tony glared at the proffered hand before grasping it in a halfhearted shake, too irritated to comment on the normality of his name. His eyes turned back to Odin who once more looked ready to speak. "You were found worthy of Valhalla, Anthony Stark. A feat very few can claim to have accomplished." A pointed look was tossed in Steve's direction. "But you are bold and brash when you should not be."

Tony opened his mouth to retort but at the stern look and disapproving toss of head from Steve had him slowing his words. Odin continued. "You have survived much to have made it this far; betrayal, the loss of those closest to you" –Tony swallowed thickly at the mention of that –"and debilitating poisoning. You have risen above all expectations of your people and yet you fight me. For what does it gain you? What have I done for you to disregard me so?"

Tony snorted gracelessly. "I do as I please. And you," a damning finger pointed at the All Father, causing his eye to darken in warning. "You know nothing of me and my life."

With a toothy snarl, Odin slammed his staff Gungnir upon the ground, the shockwave near felling Tony to his knees. "I know all there is need to know, _Anthony Stark_. You are a champion of your people but you are loud and pompous to all those around you. You crave attention as if you are starved for it and when someone comes close to breaking your exterior; you close up and become as cold as ice. You are a contrary and cruel being despite your past having should taught you a lesson in humility."

The silence that followed was tense and awkward, Tony wishing to speak but unknowing what to say. Thor stood behind his father, his expression nothing but grim as Steve shook his head sadly. Odin heaved in air like he had been running for hours before.

A soft hand fell upon Odin's shoulder and he stiffened in stubbornness. A beautiful blond woman stepped around him and softly smiled at him, though her eyes were sharp. "My love, perhaps you should let me take over? You have spoken your piece, now let me."

It was a nicely wrapped threat perfectly packaged in sanguine sweetness. The All Fathers lips tightened before his eye snapped to Tony and with a billow of his grand cape, he all but marched from the tavern. Many whispers of 'Frigga' were bounced around as everyone once more bowed deeply.

Kind eyes turned to Tony and she winked once. "Take a turn about the commons with me, won't you Anthony Stark?" Once again, not a request despite the politeness of it.

Tony nodded dumbly as he wrapped his arm around hers and they began their night stroll. All was silent for a while, the sounds of darkness the only conversation amongst them. Frigga smiled, a faraway air about her. "You remind me vaguely of someone very dear to me. The same 'devil may care' what the laws dictate kind of attitude… Someone who I miss dearly."

Tony frowned thoughtfully, figuring it was a rhetorical statement and one that did not need a following response. It was finally hitting him, despite the inebriated state he was in. "This… This isn't some coma induced dream is it?"

Frigga looked to him, expression serious. "No. No, I'm afraid it isn't, Anthony Stark."

Absentmindedly Tony shot back, "Just Tony please… Why am I even here? What am I even to do? I've only vaguely gotten bits and pieces about an army and a warrior..?"

Frigga stopped walking and sat down upon the rim of a nearby fountain. Tony vaguely noted that it was the same as earlier, though now the square was void of people sans them. She grasped his hands gently. "Tony, then. You may call me Frigga… as to why and how. Tony, you are a fallen warrior from Midgard; Earth." She clarified at his blank look. "The final battle you took part in.. you would have perished had not Herja come and saved you from the grips of Hel; you would have perished and your soul lost to the whims of Helheim. As for what, well… You were brought here to be a general in the armies of my husband, a great honor indeed. You are to fight alongside us when Ragnarok comes and every battle in between."

Tony blinked as he stared at the ground. "… Well that's comforting. But I am an engineer, I build things. I'm not one built for hand to hand combat. My strength is in my suit and I don't have that here so I'm basically useless. And also, woah, _general_? I don't know if you know me but I know me. Not exactly general material here."

Frigga chuckled as her fingers carded gently through his hair. "I know you well enough, Tony, to know that you think too little of yourself. You are a great man, and while yes, strength is not to your advantage your mind is a devious weapon all on its own. Fret not and have more self worth. Your intellect will serve you well. As for a possible forge and supplies… I shall speak with my husband, attempt to clear the air of misunderstandings and wounded pride. Perhaps I shall persuade him to be lenient." She winked playfully as she stood and brushed wrinkles from her dress.

Turning to look at Tony she smiled. "And as for being a general… Do not think you are the only one. In fact, I do believe you have met two of them today alone." With that cryptic answer, she bowed and turned and walked away with elegant poise.

Vaguely smirking, Tony chuckled. "I like her. She reminds me of a medieval Pepper."

It was in the next moment that Tony smacked his forehead. He had just walked –_in very close proximity –_with the queen of Asgard smelling like booze and drunk as a skunk.

It was in the following moment that he realized he had no fucking idea where he was or how the hell to get back to where he needed to be and was too drunk to do anything about it.

Rubbing at his aching temple, Tony chuckled humorlessly. "Oh, fuck it."

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

My nose ring itches.


	3. Chapter 3

I did mention this was going to be an AU hybrid. We're starting to get into that now. As well, this story has comic oriented elements too. Don't worry; it won't be confusing to those who have no idea what happens in the comics. **I will explain after the chapter.**

Thank you everyone for the views and reviews. So please, enjoy.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

_Chapter Two_

With a giant splash, Tony spluttered awake. He flailed upright in the water and swabbed uselessly at his soaked eyes with his dripping sleeve, head pounding a nice dull staccato in time with his heartbeat.

"Oh good. I wasn't sure that would work," another voice called out annoyed. Tony lifted his arm from his face, glaring up at the person glaring down. And there stood Steve, hands on hips, face once more stern. "You're not a man of great first impressions, are you Mr. Stark?"

Tony spit stale water as he stumbled out of the fountain, water flinging everywhere. Passersby stepped out of the spray with expletives and shaking fists as Tony grinned sheepishly. He looked around as he wrung out his shirt recognizing the area as the same from last night. Distractedly yet with more than enough cheek, he answered. "What are you talking about?" He lifted a winning smirk to an unamused Steve. "I make _great_ first impressions! Ones that last a lifetime!"

Steve scoffed, an eyebrow quirking. "The first time we met was in a tavern with you so drunk you picked a fight with the _All Father_, DURING a search party that he himself called of his _war_ generals to find the missing man they were supposed to be greeting in high esteem and holding a feast in his honor. And, the next time we meet, Mr. Stark, right now? You're sleeping on the lip of a fountain in public where children and good people congregate and hold business, in stained old clothing, smelling of alcohol and sweat, flaunting your night of superfluous drinking and debauchery."

Tony paused in his mussing of his hair and cast Steve an almost flirtatious smile, a damning finger pointing to the man. "But you won't forget it, now will you?"

Steve pursed his lips but held his tongue. _Pick your battles_, his eyes seemed to say. Tony almost chuckled as the tension slowly left Steve's hands. He must have decided this one wasn't worth it. Good call.

Sitting down on the ledge, Tony glanced down at it with annoyed amusement toying at his brow. "How-This ledge is huge. How could I have rolled over so far? I'd had to have moved quite a distance to roll in to the water."

"I wonder how indeed."

At the stale statement—and even more dry look shot his way—Tony glared suspiciously at the armored man. "It was you, wasn't it? You kicked me into the water didn't you?"

Steve shifted his hands from his hips to clasp them behind his back. "I can neither confirm nor deny that."

"Bullshit." Tony's eyes sparkled with stunned amusement even as his frown deepened. The blonde didn't look like he had a single sly bone in his body. What a pleasant surprise. Though, the disapproving look cast his way due to the language dampened that glee… if only slightly.

Steve sighed and his stiff stance loosened. "Look, I didn't come here to pick at… sore spots. I actually came to take you to meet Odin and the other generals to brief you on the events currently taking place."

Tony rubbed his chin, ignoring the cold of his damp clothes and noted he needed a trim soon. "Well, that's what Queen Frigga spoke about last night… Ooooh I _suppose_ I'd better go figure out what exactly this whole shindig is about and what specific song and dance I'm expected to perform."

Judging from the irritated look the blonde gave him; he didn't care for the satire. Tony couldn't honestly give two shits. Some people just didn't have a sense of humor.

.:.:.:.:.

First impressions aside and ignoring completely _annoying_ attitudes, Steve believed Tony was a good man. He might not look it, act it, or hell even claim to be one but Steve could almost see it. He could smell it, deep deep _deep _down buriend beneath all the crap and irritating smiles, the good man was there. All he needed was a firm pull and a guiding hand. Perhaps Steve wouldn't be the one to do it, but he'd be there to help him rise from the ashes of Tony's outer shell.

… Maybe. Steve grit his teeth as Tony continued to blather aimlessly about things he had never even heard of. Maybe he'd be there to see this great man rise… If he could survive his ridiculousness, then yes.

Steve looked helplessly at the side of Tony's face, slowly making their way to Valhalla. He turned forward once more. This was going to be quite the undertaking.

"Ya know, you look familiar."

'Yeah? And you love the sound of your own voice.' Steve didn't say that because lord knows it would just make the man carry on even more. Instead he spoke, "Oh? And how so?" Steve stopped when he noticed Tony staring intently at his face. "What?"

"… No really. Your face is so familiar. Why? Did ya travel to Earth recently?" Tony paused and cocked a brow. "Or, _Midgard,_ as it were."

Steve actually smiled, nodding his head once to the palace guards as they walked through the courtyard once more. "Heh. No, I haven't been to Earth in a long time. Not since I last fought there, Mr. Stark."

"Okay, first off. Nnnot Mr. Stark. Makes me feel old and I'm not there yet. Secondly, how long ago was that? It must have been recent enough for me to know your face. Or was it grand enough that it went into history?"

The blonde laughed heartily. "Actually," his brows furrowed in sudden sadness. "… Probably a bit of both." At Tony's questioning gaze, Steve sighed. "Seventy. Seventy years ago, I was fighting against men trying to… change the world, and not for the better. I was taken down while trying to save my friends. I went down over water."

All was silent before an awed laugh spilled through out the hallways. Steve looked to Tony, almost offended until he saw the positively delighted look in his eyes. He was almost bouncing around like a kid in a candy store. "… Captain America."

Steve's brows shot up in surprise. "I haven't heard that name in so long. I didn't even know people still knew that name." A pleased flush covered his cheeks and rose to his ears. "But yes. That's who I was."

"Wow! That explains why no one could ever find your body! I know my father looked for years. He was obsessed with finding you… And it also explains the easy to pronounce name."

Steve looked skyward for patience even as a begrudging tiny smile grew. "Yes. I was taken in by the Valkyrie before the water stopped my heart." He scratched his head, confused eyes looking to Tony. "Who was your father? You make it sounds as if we were incredibly invested in each other."

Tony's smile turned strained. "Howard."

To say he was gob smacked would be a certifiable understatement. "Howard?!" Steve rubbed his mouth as Tony nodded once. Well, Odin had said that he was the son of Howard Stark, it just didn't connect. To think… his young friend had had a son who he now stood beside and who also appeared older than him in age. Steve huffed a laugh sadly. "I'd no idea… I was taken away from Earth and haven't heard a single word since… How is he?"

Tony's eyes turned dark. "Oh he's probably rolling around in his grave at the moment, knowing his son was the one who found the man he spent his life trying to find. But before that… well I wouldn't know. Howard was too busy or drunk to really speak with his unfortunate son."

Steve winced, sorely wishing he'd kept his mouth shut. "… My apologies. I had no idea what—"

"Don't worry about it. He's been gone for years. I'm a big boy now. Can feed myself and everything." Steve narrowed his eyes at Tony's almost harsh grin. "I can handle it."

The blonde nodded and they continued down the hallway in silence. It lasted for all of a minute before, "… by the way."

Steve grunted in response to Tony. He was staring forwards but he could hear the mischief in Tony's voice. "Don't think I didn't notice you turning red there earlier, old man. Did little ol' me embarrass the Captain?"

Steve sighed and once more rolled his eyes skyward for patience.

.:.:.:.:.

Tony could have found happier people in a graveyard than in this room. Wow, just uhm… wow. They were highly decorated and greatly distinguished at least. None more so than the king of Asgard, Odin himself. Tony felt heat pricking at his pride as that damned eye landed on his person. It was too soon to lay eyes on this ancient man, the delivered blows still too painful from the night before.

But as it were, Tony'd have to suck it up and face the music. Besides, there were other people to entertain himself with, not withstanding the warriors three and the Lady Sif. Tony caught Fandral's eye just in time to see the scandalous blonde shoot him a heated wink. Unfortunately, Thor spotted the look as well and turned to give Tony a surprised smile.

Oh god. Hammer Time was reading into the situation incorrectly. Tony shook his head no, hands lifted in placation, mouth primed and ready to refute any misplaced congratulations when Odin spoke first.

"Anthony Stark. Steve Rogers." He greeted civilly before stepping down from beside a giant table covered in what looked like really old ancient maps. Four people in differing states of armor and robe quieted and turned to stare at them. Tony looked on in confusion, as the red headed woman from yesterday was one of the four there.

"Wha—?"

"Stark." Odin spoke.

Tony's mouth snapped shut as the woman smiled secretively and his eyes turned to the All Father once more. The man stood before him and Tony was again reminded how tall these Asgardians were. His singular eye burned on his person, looking him up and down; judging him. "We have started out on the wrong foot. I wish to remedy that before anymore bad blood can build between us."

Tony raised his brow in sarcastic contemplation. Somehow, he got the feeling it cost the All Father a lot to admit that. Either way, Tony nodded his agreement even though his blood boiled to have to bend his neck in this situation. "… I suppose in this case it was my fault."

Odin waved the statement away as he lightly tapped Gungnir against the ground. "No. The fault lies with me. I had not thought to have you informed of the importance of our meeting. It has been a long time since I have encountered one with such curiosity as you." Odin's eye darkened in old pain and sadness. Tony couldn't help but wonder what the cause was.

Odin continued, "I am not too proud to admit my shortcomings when I am able to see them. You may thank my Frigga." The unspoken sentence that everyone heard was _Don't do that again. I will not tolerate your foolishness twice_.

But that was that and Odin was moving on. "This is not why you were all called here today." He moved back up the few stairs to the giant table. "It was time you met your fellow generals and shield brothers." He motioned to the four beside the table and then to Thor and his mates.

Steve stepped forwards and moved to stand beside a man who looked like he longed to be anywhere but there, his shifty eyes watching everyone and everything. He nodded once to the Captain before staring resolutely at the map. Odin stood at the head of the table and tapped his staff once more.

"Please, introduce yourselves. Though, it would seem you've already met my Thor and Steve."

Thor smiled to Tony and winked. What… what was with the winking now too? Tony wasn't sure he wanted to know. But –small mercies –he didn't have the time to linger on it for long before the man closest to Odin introduced himself.

"Stephen Strange. Consultant to Odin and a friend to Asgard." His cape billowed behind him as he bowed ever so slightly.

The man beside him stared Tony down creepily. It stayed silent long enough for Tony to glance around to be certain he wasn't the only one finding this weird, spotting the red head rolling her eyes in exasperation, before the brunette smirked. He cocked his head as he spoke. "Clint Barton. Are you wearing women's clothing?"

Tony jerked back in surprise. "It's all they had in the room I woke up in. Besides, cut me some slack, they're pants and those Valkyrie are kickass. And… it's nice and _flowy_."

Clint lifted his hands in surrender, chuckling. "Hey woah now! Don't bite my head off. Been there, done that. There are times when a dress is the only answer."

Steve rubbed his temples and sighed as Tony smiled mischievously. "Oh yeah, there have been sometimes. I know exactly what you mean. Many a day waking up with more questions than is healthy." Tony liked this guy.

The red head slapped the back of the guy's head just as he opened his mouth. He glared at her as he rubbed at it, muttering unintelligible words under his breath.

Tony smirked at her now. "Ah! Ms. Boundless Information, we meet again." He pointed at her accusingly. "You didn't tell me you were a general."

She raised her brow, unimpressed, her arms crossing across her chest. "You never asked." She eyed him up and down too. "… Natasha."

"Weren't you supposed to turn me in at first sight?"

Natasha smiled her creepy little smile once more and Tony regretted asking. "Always get to know your prey first." She said nothing more and Tony was man enough to admit to the goose bumps running down his spine.

The shifty guy nodded once to Tony in greeting. "… Bruce Banner."

Thor stepped forwards and slammed his giant palm onto Tony's shoulder in jovial greeting. Tony lost all feeling in that very same shoulder a split second later. Thor smiled winningly. "T'is good to see you again in better terms, Anthony Stark. How is your head? My friends here tell me you had quite a bit to drink last night."

Tony, despite his now ruined shoulder, smiled at the overgrown puppy. "Oh, I'm great. I can drink like a tank. It'll take near liver failure amounts to knock me on my ass for good."

Tony caught the intent gaze Natasha tossed him, looking to her in askance. She shook her head once but watched him silently. Tony turned back to Thor once he began to laugh. "Yes, so I heard! Fandral and Volstagg were singing you praises about your prowess with drink. I do believe you even impressed Lady Sif."

The aforementioned woman grumbled in embarrassment, turning away as Fandral relentlessly teased her.

Tony chuckled but nodded his greeting to Volstagg and Hogun who in turn nodded back.

Odin cut in once more. "Now that you all know each other, let us discuss the true reason for this gathering." He paused to look each and everyone gathered in the eye. He let the suspense build, just like the closet diva Tony believed him to be. "_Thanos._"

The atmosphere became suddenly five times more intense and Tony couldn't help but glance around confused. Bruce hugged his arms tighter, eyes flickering over everyone quickly, looking mildly sick to his stomach. Was he looking a bit _green?_

Tony quickly snapped out of it as the silence drug on. "Uhm, yeah, hello?" Several fierce stares landed on his person. Tony soaked up the lime light for a second before grinning, "Yeah, new guy here. Who or what is a Thanos?"

Odin's gaze alone burned hotter than any holocaust. His words spilling from his lips like the most fearsome poison. "_Thanos_ is a fiend, a tyrant, insanity incarnate. He is the mad Titan, destroyer of worlds and infatuated with Death. He is a cursed being, nigh unstoppable and immortal."

Tony cracked a laugh and rubbed at his nasal bridge. "So how do we stop a being that is unstoppable?"

"That is where the problem lies, Tony Stark." Thor was grim, his lips pressed firmly shut. Tony could see nothing but grudging acceptance of the dire truth in his eyes. "That is why this battle, this _war _is never ending. T'is a ceaseless cycle of death, battle, blood and bones. This is not a thing of glory. Battle is glorious… But this—this is mindless killing."

Tony glanced at all the dark faces and couldn't help but to ask, "But why? Why does he do it? If he's so unstoppable, why does he kill?"

Thor's eyes were hard and cold as ice. "Because his own deathless state forces him to vicariously derive the feeling of it from those who fall beneath his fists. He will never stop, not until all else ceases to be."

"Ragnarök," Clint said loudly in the following silence. The Asgardian folk tensed and hissed at the word, faces full of stubborn determination. Odin nodded once, as his intense gaze remained focused on Tony.

"Ragnarök?" Tony questioned, not enjoying being completely out of the loop.

This time it was Natasha who answered. "The ending of this world."

Here, Sif heatedly cut in. "But many believe Ragnarök has already begun! Loki has been missing for how long? We all know that he is one of the first! Thanos must have already destroyed him!"

Thor flinched and looked away from her. Fandral laid his hand on her shoulder. "Must we speak of such tragic things? There are ears present that wish to not hear—"

She shook off his hand roughly. "No! We cannot simply ignore this! If this has come to pass, we must prepare for all else that comes! Once it has begun, it cannot stop." Her eyes turned haunted, terrified even. She looked to Thor and they stared into each other's soul. Sadly, she shook her head. "The end will be inevitable but we can prolong it."

Odin sighed and sat down in his chair, shoulders heavy with the weight of the entire universe on them. Tony stood confused as to what was even being said and who they were talking about.

He withstood the next awful silence for all of five seconds before, "Who is Loki?"

Everyone clammed up as if it was some big secret that everyone knew about but wasn't allowed to speak. Irritated Tony tapped his finger on the table. "If you guys expect me to be able to help you with all this… this _shit_ then I need to be in the know. _Who is Loki?"_

"…. He was my brother."

Tony stopped and turned to look at Thor, his eyes heavy with a deep longing and sadness. Thor looked to the floor, eyes unfocused. "We had a spat. I couldn't see what was happening to him, so _blinded _by my own stupidity… until it was too late. My brother… he fell. From the Bifröst and into darkness."

Thor looked to his father. "I dare not believe he is gone."

Sif exploded, her hands thrown high. "How can you be so willfully blind?!"

Thor turned on her, anger twisting his face. "Because the Bifröst still stands!" Sif bit down on her comment, ashamed of her outburst. Thor stepped to her, his voice passionate. "It is foretold, Sif. The Bifröst shall fall after him in Ragnarök. Can you not _see_ this?"

Subdued but still angry she boldly looked him in the eye even as she whispered. "Just because it has not fallen now does not mean it will not soon."

They both stared each other down in tense silence, a disagreement that would never come to terms. Tony scratched at his itchy beard. And he thought he and _his_ father could fight like champions.

Steve finally spoke up once more, voice tight and resigned. "I think… not much else is going to be accomplished in this meeting. Everyone is too high strung now; too tense."

Odin nodded sagely, "Aye. I agree. We will postpone the rest of this meeting until the morrow. For now, good day." With that, the All Father swept up from his seat and glided from the room in a swish of mantle and cawing of following ravens. The remainder of those present watched him leave; silence a dear companion in the proceeding moments.

Tony scratched again at his infuriating beard. "Well shit. Was that my fault?"

The Warriors Three and Sif barely spared a glance as they whispered to Thor and headed out. Tony felt someone stand beside him. "I wouldn't worry over that. It would have come out sooner or later. I am glad that it happened sooner. The longer those unspoken words festered, the more the gaping wounds would ache."

The shorter man glanced up at the stranger, noting it to be Strange. The man glanced at Tony, his face incredibly grim. He looked deep into Tony's eyes. "Loki is a sore subject amongst the Asgardians."

Tony nodded along. "Yeah, I can see that. Why? What'd he do? Besides, ya know. Possibly starting the end of days."

Stephen's lip lifted for a second before he was serious once more. "Loki was an Asgardian of many talents and gifts; one such gift being that of a vast and twisted sense of humor. He was not well loved by many. Several felt he was going to 'pull the carpet out from everyone's feet' so to speak. He was not trusted and it… changed him. Made him bitter and dark. His pranks slowly turned from childish fun to morbid and dangerous plots."

Tony looked to the solemn man. "Oh yeah? How do you know all this?"

Strange glanced to him from the corner of his eye. "Because I have known him. Known him for a long time, since before his view on life grew somber."

That caught Tony's attention. "That so? Well aren't you just a social butterfly. Gotta be gettin' up there in the years department then, huh? How'd you even meet these people? It's not like they are out trapezing around Earth."

Stephen huffed a little laugh, his grey eyes once more turning to Tony. "To be so ignorant, I wonder. Do not believe all that you see and remember, Anthony. There will always be someone or something that can alter your perceptions of your surroundings."

Tony crinkled his brow in distaste. "What _is _it with everyone here and the cryptic as hell answers? Can I get a straightforward yes or no without the beat around?"

"Your reputation for being an ass proceeds you," Stephen drawled calmly.

Tony smiled thinly, "Oh, so I've been told once or twice. Mostly by women scorned or former business partners."

Stephen hummed in noncommittal answer before returning to the original topic. "I met Thor by way of Loki. He tricked me into a battle with Thor. It was during this that we were able to understand what had happened… We had been played by his little brother." With a disdainful sniff, Stephen held his hands behind his back, watching as Clint spoke animatedly to a silent Natasha. "Needless to say, when we found him, he was practically vibrating with smugness and laughter… We beat the ever living life out of him."

Tony quirked his eyebrows. "And he didn't hate you for it?"

Stephen looked surprised for a moment, his heavy brow also lifted high. "Oh he supposed it was all good sport. He thought it was a great challenge. One cannot assume to understand the inner workings of Loki's mind… Sadly, it was shortly after that tomfoolery that he began to grow withdrawn."

And once more, much to Tony's annoyance, another silence passed over them. Strange simply observed Tony as Tony thought over what little he learned of.., well too much at once. As Stephen continued to stare, Tony finally turned to return the gaze. It was then that Strange spoke.

"… I feel as though you will play an essential part in the battles to come, Tony Stark." His eyes lowered to stare at the light shining through Tony's shirt. He nodded once. "If you'd like, I could take a look at that."

Tony glanced down at his arc reactor, lifting a hand to drum a beat against it. He looked back to Stephen, a tentative smile forming. "Ya know, that'd be great. But now's not a good time. Ya see, end of the entire universe and all that. Thanks for the offer though."

Stephen nodded once more and stepped back. "When this is over, come see me then. I will stay true to my word." He bowed his head and with a lift of his hand and a flash of light, the man stepped through—Tony did a double take, _was that what he thought that was_— a portal and was gone.

"Man! Gotta get me one of _those!_" Tony whistled appreciatively. He glanced over to see Bruce smile weakly at him in agreement.

"Well, it takes years of training and a predestined fate of being the next Sorcerer Supreme." Bruce intoned.

Was that _sarcasm_ Tony sensed? Who knew that shifty eyes here could have that much _sass_. Tony smirked. "Sorcerer Supreme… well I guess I'm out then. Not a lick of magical talent in me. If you exclude my otherworldly gift of snagging gorgeous women that is."

Bruce shook his head with a wane smile. The brunette sighed as he stood next to Tony. He leaned towards him. "So what do you think of everything?"

"Honestly? Half the time I think I'm still buried under fifteen stories of rubble and any second now what neurons in my brain that are firing will stop and I'll cease to be."

Bruce stared at Tony blankly. "Well that was… morbid."

Tony shrugged. "It's the truth. You asked for it. Not my fault if you don't like it." Bruce simply raised his hands in a placating manor, shaking his head. The former billionaire looked him up and down. "You know, your name sounds familiar. Kinda like a name I saw once and vaguely stayed in my memory."

Bruce nodded once. "You know, Steve said the same thing when he first arrived here." Banner hugged his arms around his chest, his demeanor defensive even as his eyes burned with an inner fire. "I was known for my works in alchemy and works concerning the formation of the Philosopher's Stone."

It was in this moment Tony realized he was speaking with a man who was far older than should be possible. It was surprising; Tony really was awed. "Woah, Philosopher Stone? Jesus, alchemy hasn't been used in… well, about two hundred years." At Bruce's flat look Tony laughed. "Judging from the fact you're still here, you found it?"

Bruce shook his head no; he adjusted the collar of his robes away from his neck. "No, I was not successful. And I wasn't trying to find it, but to make one." Bruce shrugged bored, as if this wasn't a sore topic of discussion. "I was finally able to create a fragment stable enough to consume… So I did."

"Wait, you ate your own unfinished and untested experiment?"

Bruce lifted the circle glasses from his nose and cleaned them profusely with his robe. "Yes, well I never claimed to have been smart at that moment in time." He waved his hand about softly. "It was a break through. I was desperate to see results. So I took a leap of faith… The results were not what I expected."

Tony, besides himself with curiosity stepped closer, hoping that maybe the closer proximity would somehow soak Bruce's memories into his own head. "That's hardcore… And? What were those results?"

Bruce stared before sighing and rubbing at his still exposed eyes. "My studies were based in the human body, how it functions and ages. The purpose of the Philosopher's Stone was to cease aging and ailment. It was meant to keep us from becoming sick, from becoming feeble, to be a boon to all of humanity. Instead, it became a curse that twisted me in a grotesque way." He eyed Tony warily. "If you are lucky, you won't have to meet this byproduct of deranged science. But knowing what is to come, it is more than likely to happen."

"Ah! I think I remember now— reading about your work in a history book once when I was a child. Used to be suuuper into the old pseudosciency stuff. If I remember correctly, your work was from the early 1800's."

"1815, to be exact. That was the year of my final experiment."

"Wow, sure are kickin' for someone, erm, two hundred something years old."

Bruce chuckled and rubbed at his head. "Tony, I'm not the oldest one here." He nodded vaguely in the other generals' directions. "You should speak to them and find how young we _both_ are in comparison. You especially."

Tony shook his head in awe. "But how is that even possible? Everyone keeps spouting 'mortal man, mortal man' but here you are… a human and yet still far older than we could ever hope to live."

Bruce chuckled again. "Because, for all accounts and purposes we are no longer human." He grimaced a bit when Tony's eyes all but bugged out from his head. "No no, we aren't _actually not_ human; not completely When the Valkyrie pulled us from the grips of death, we more or less were chosen to be rid of our human lifespan. We are men – and women – of Asgard now. We still have the same weaknesses and faults as before, we simply live _much_ longer."

Tony glanced away in thoughtful silence. "So if I were to be stabbed in the kidney, perchance, I would still die?"

At the unimpressed look sent his way, Tony took that as his answer with a bark of laughter.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

1\. Bruce is an alchemist. I needed people from all over the Earthly timescale. Alchemy in the late 1700s/early 1800s was focused on the human body and the search for immortality: the Philosopher Stone. I chose the year 1815 for his final experiment because that was the year the book _Lives of Alchemystical Philosophers_ was released. It was also during the highlight of alchemy in Europe and transmutation in general (of this form). It would make sense that an alchemist of such standing would be prominent during the heyday, now wouldn't it? It also stood to reason that his antics following said final experiment would be more widely noted at this point in history. _If you catch what I'm throwing_.

2\. Time frames for the comic events are more or less kept, but are twisted a bit to fit the framework of my story. As for the comic-verse, I won't be throwing out ideas and events that many probably have no clue as to what even… It will mostly be touched upon as it was in this chapter.

3\. I adore Dr. Strange. He is my favorite. Loki tricking Dr. Strange into fighting Thor is cannon. Them realizing the trick and then fighting Loki is also cannon. My stating that it was a prank and laughy 'oh-ha-ha-you-got-me' was my own twist. At this point, Loki (in cannon) was already bat shit, the works. I wanted to paint his background a bit with cannon but in a different time and feeling. There will be more on Dr. Strange background eventually.

4\. Ragnarök is noted in Norse mythology as a great battle foretold to kill off several key figures: Odin, Thor, Heimdall, Loki, so and so forth. It is also foretold that several natural disasters will occur. One of which being the destruction of the Bifröst as Muspell's sons attempt to cross it (you don't need to worry about who those guys are, honest). I took liberty to mix mythology with movie verse. In Thor, the Bifröst was shattered by Mjolnir. So, instead of having Thor shatter the Bifröst, I had Loki fall from the bridge and it would shortly collapse after his death, as foretold (there's that liberty I took. See it?). It was not specified how long it would take, only that it would. I'll go into deeper detail as to what transpired that day.


	4. Chapter 4

Do you find the notes at the end explaining the history annoying? Please let me know.

Otherwise, thank you for reviewing and reading. Please, enjoy.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

_Chapter Three_

"Tony!"

The engineer stopped and turned to Clint who had called him. The man's sharp eyes zeroed in and he was running over. Tony waited for him to catch up before continuing his way out of the meeting room. Side by side they strolled.

"So! How're you enjoying Asgard?"

Tony blinked. "I've only been here roughly a day, half of which I spent asleep. I don't know yet. Haven't really seen it." He paused with foreboding when he saw the mischievous grin take root on Clint's face. "Oh god… what are you thinking?"

Clint leaned into Tony's personal space and poked his arc reactor. "Wanna go exploring with me? I know the coolest spots."

Tony swatted at the offending finger, while staring him down. "What are you, five? 'The coolest spots?' Seriously? You gotta sell the pitch more before going for broke. 'Cause so far, not interested." Tony started walking again, Clint staying behind.

"How about areas-that-we-aren't-allowed-to-go-to-because-Odin-would-absolutely-kill-us-himself-but-I-know-how-to-get-in-them-anyway-and-can-totally-take-you-there kind of places?" He called out.

Tony froze. Eyes rising to the ceiling, a smirk grew as curiosity took over. He turned to flash Clint his best smile. "Now _that_ was a sales pitch. I'm sold! Lead the way, oh great knowledgeable one."

Clint smirked and took the lead, not without a jab of course. "Now you're finally understanding how things work around here."

"Ha! I bet Natasha has you by the balls with her sharp little claws."

Clint paled and glanced at Tony. "Don't say that so loud… You might give her ideas…"

Tony couldn't tell if he was joking or not and wasn't sure what was scarier. They walked down the halls until the palace swept behind them in stairs and platforms. As normal civilization enclosed around them, Tony decided enough was enough.

"So! What's your story? Brucey said something about asking how old you were."

Clint snorted. "Oh yeah? I bet he was just as ineloquent about it as you were too."

"Yeah, how did ya know," Tony smirked. They stared into each other's eyes, until Clint looked away, expression closed off.

"I'm going to fill you in on one thing now, Mr. Stark. Seeing as how you're new and don't know, consider this your only freebie." He grabbed ahold of Tony's shoulder, forcing them both to stop, his eyes burning. "Don't go around asking people about their past here. Most are dark and they don't like to talk about it. In fact, they might even kill you for it. So, word to the wise, keep your nose out of their business."

With that, Clint let him go and continued walking. Tony stared after him in surprise before continuing after him. The normally chatty man was silent, not a word said between them. The engineer felt he should probably extend an olive branch of roundabout apology.

"… The man I considered my father betrayed me."

After so long in silence, Clint stopped to look at him in surprise. They kept walking at a slower pace as Tony nodded in affirmation. "Yup. Trussed me up, sent me to the enemy served on a silver platter with a shiny red bow right on top."

Tony tapped a finger against the arc reactor. "Learned a valuable lesson the hard way." As thoughts of Pepper and Rhodey began flashing before his eyes, Tony clenched his mouth shut.

"… What lesson was that?"

Tony's hard eyes lifted to pierce into Clint, a frown deeply marring his face. "Even the ones you love most are capable of treachery."

Clint stared at him in silence before an approving nod allowed them to continue at their previous pace. The silence didn't last near as long as last time. "… I worked in a circus with my brother; The great Astley's Royal Amphitheatre!" His hands spread out in the air with the title. "Wonders for everyone to behold!"

He rubbed at the back of his head. "It wasn't bad. We were roustabouts and it paid. Learned my archery there from my mentor."

Tony got the feeling that most of the background to the story was left out. Fair enough, he supposed, seeing as he left about 90% of his history out as well. "… Astley's Royal Amphitheatre… I've never heard of that place."

Clint barked out with laughter. "That's because it's been gone for a very long time."

Perked with intrigue, Tony racked his brain for any circuses that he might have heard of. "How long ago was that? 40, 50 years ago?"

"… Try 120 years ago."

"Okay 120 years ago… _120 years ago?!_" Tony stopped walking and stared Clint down. "You worked in a circus 120 years ago? Did you meet Bruce at all?" With a smug smirk, Clint crossed his arms and pointed once more at Tony, his mouth opened to speak. Tony stared at it in absolute distaste and cut him off. "You keep pointing at me with that finger and I'm gonna find a way to chop it off without you realizing until it's too late."

Clint yanked his hand back against his chest with an offended and horrified look. "Hey now, I didn't threaten your livelihood when you were annoying me. I need these, I'm an archer you ass."

"Well then quit picking at me with 'em. I'm not above sabotage and fighting dirty."

The archer's eyes narrowed and he cautiously continued forward. "… You're wrong by the way."

Tony chuckled in exasperation, rubbing at his nasal bridge. "Of course I am. What am I wrong about again?"

"I didn't work in the circus 120 years ago."

Lifting irritated eyes to burn into viciously smug eyes, Tony spoke from behind his palm. "But you said that it—"

"It closed 120 years ago, not that I worked there 120 years ago." Clint's smile grew as the irritation grew in Tony's eyes. "I actually worked in the amphitheater when it was first built. My brother and I were of the original crew. We got to work with Phillip Astley himself."

Tony watched as Clint's chest puffed out with pride, as if Tony would even know who the hell who's-a-ma-what's-its Astley was. "… And that would be?"

Clint's eye bugged out from his head in complete surprise. "You don't know who the great Astley was?! The great ringleader himself, the man of the big top, the father of the circus?!"

Tony stared deadpanned into his outraged eyes. "Well, now I know what titles he more or less held, I can suddenly put one and two together to get three but no, I have no idea who he was."

Clint stopped walking, looking so utterly crestfallen. He stared at the ground before he looked once more to Tony, pouting. "Man, the future sucks. You guys have forgotten all the cool stuff in the world…"

"Heh, I'll have you know. I bet if you were to go to Earth today, you'd be kissing those 'good ol' days' far behind you and embracing the new ways with relish."

Disbelieving eyes ran up and down Tony silently. But, surprisingly the man held his words within. "… Astley's Royal Amphitheatre opened back in 1773."

Taken by surprise Tony stopped walking once more, a poor Asgardian citizen bumping into his back at his sudden cease in momentum. She glared at him as she passed by them both, a respectful nod thrown in Clint's direction. Tony hardly noted her presence as he tried to wrap his mind around the guy in front of him.

And of course, just to add insult to injury, Clint's shit eating grin kept growing. "… You can apologize whenever."

Affronted Tony, jerked back a bit. "Apologize? For _what?"_

"For being rude to your elder."

Tony couldn't help it, honestly. He burst out laughing. "Oh please, even I act more adult than you, Sideshow. If anything, you should be apologizing to me."

Dubious laughter spilled from Clint as they both began walking once more, steadily leaving the city behind. "Is that really what you think?"

Grass crunched beneath their feet as they entered the forest surrounding. Tony smirked unpleasantly. "Uh, yeah. If I didn't, I wouldn't have said so."

Shaking his head in annoyed amusement, Clint crossed his arms, that damn finger pointing once more at Tony's person. "The people of today sure are cheeky… and disrespectful."

"Only to those we feel need to be taken down a peg or two."

"_What?! HA! _That's rich coming from you!"

The bickering continued on for long after the people of Asgard could no longer hear. As they disappeared further into the woods, insulting more and more like school children, Tony couldn't help but shake his head in fondness. As annoying as this guy was, he was a keeper. Only handled in small doses, but definitely a keeper.

.:.:.:.:.

At some point, after all insults were spent –both childish and increasingly creative—and silence reigned supreme, Tony noted that the forest around them was also silent. No background noise of strange birds and four legged beasts grazing. The trees were no longer soft and airy with the beauty of golden light.

The air had become heavy and dark, the trees blocking out all brightness, leaving only the gloom. Tony began to wonder just where the hell Clint Barton was taking them. The sky began to darken as well, the rising of mountains all around.

"Um, Clint… Where the hell are we going?"

"Don't worry, we're almost there, but you gotta keep quiet from here on in." His mischievous eyes were serious as he began turning this way and that through the mountains. Tony followed more slowly, having little to no endurance of this kind. He wasn't a man of great physical activity outside the bedroom, so sue him for having trouble keeping up!

Where the ground was icy with cold and the sky black as night where the light couldn't reach, the entrance to a cave was beheld. Tony felt the little hairs all over his body stand on end as foreboding filled him. Clint smirked as he pointed to the entrance.

Clint leaned closer to the hole in the rock, whispering so quietly Tony could hardly hear him. "I found this a few years ago. I haven't actually gone down there because, well ya know—you feel it too, right?" Clint glanced around nervously. "That and there's usually a guard here watching this place like a hawk." He chuckled at his own joke.

Tony glanced around. "I don't see anyone though."

Clint's lips thinned as he nodded. "Yeah… I didn't either. Which is super suspicious…"

Glancing back into the cavern, Tony began to think maybe this wasn't such a good idea when something harsh struck the stone an inch from his head. The high-pitched whine of the projectile embedding into the stone deafened Tony for a moment as he jerked away in fright, Clint yanked him to the ground with a shout.

When they both glanced up, they saw a sword stuck hilt deep into the rock. Eyes wide in horror they both turned to see a man in glittering armor running towards them, his face a mask of fury. His left arm lifted as he leapt from the mountainside to land a few meters away from them. Tony watched in horror as Clint all but jumped up, legs bent and shaking.

"Oh _shit! _That's him! Tyr! _We gotta go! C'mon!"_ He all but shot off like a bullet as the giant man turned to glare into their souls, his long hair falling over his shoulders. Tony had enough time to zero in on his right arm, mangled and torn without a hand before the still intact left one reached for the sword still in the mountain. The sword was suddenly being swept down towards him and in realization Tony yelped and dodged out of the way.

The ground exploded with grass and rock where he had just been. With debilitating speed, the Asgardian turned and began striking at Tony. All Tony wanted to do was survive, escape, and shove his vengeful foot through Clint's stomach lining! But he couldn't get away!

"Oh shit, what is your_ problem?!" _Tony cried out to the man in hopes of distracting him.

With every lunge he made to escape into the woods, the man would hop in front of him and swing his gleaming sword, forcing Tony to back up towards the cave or be sliced in half. And faster than Tony was really comfortable with, the Asgardian was cornering him.

Quickly evaluating his options, Tony glanced to the fast disappearing distance between himself and the crazed one-handed swordsman and the entrance of the cave of doom. Deciding to take a leap of faith into the unknown, Tony ducked under one final swing before rolling into a run and booking it into the tunnel.

The enraged man outside cried out in alarm and stomped after him.

Tony used everything in his power to lose sight of the man in the dark twisted tunnels; ducking behind rocks, squeezing into tiny crevices, burying himself in holes. But this man was tenacious and he would not stop. Tony had no idea how long he ran for, but he was tired and he was sore and he was quickly losing energy.

It was so dark and it was gloomy and the air held its breath in silent anticipation of something horrible. Somehow, with good fortune or bad, Tony had lost sight of the insane guard. At a more sedate pace, trying to keep as quiet as he could, Tony continued down the path in front of him, hopelessly lost.

All he could tell was that he was going deeper, and had been for quite some time.

That's when he heard it more than felt it, the sounds of breath swishing in and out of lungs. _Giant lungs_. The whole tunnel filled with warm air followed by icy air being sucked back in before warm air escaped through the cavern once more. Suddenly a lot more cautious, Tony stumbled into what sounded like a giant underground room judging from the reverberations of the echoes.

The sound of rushing water was also heard as he slowly made his way forwards, hands held out in front of him in place of his sightless eyes. The rush of warmth became stronger as he slowly made his way in. Tripping slightly over a rock, Tony stumbled and let out a curse.

"God damn it, I can't see a thing…"

Brushing off his knees and standing up, Tony was stricken with fear as he realized that he could no longer feel the pulse of warm breath against his person and that he could suddenly vaguely see around him. Lifting wary eyes from the ground, Tony looked up. Giant, horrid, glowing green eyes stared at him from a face of black fur. A giant maw was inches from his face, the dim sheen of a sword glittering from within. A deep growl began to shake the ground as those hellish eyes melted his bones. The monstrous beast jerked against the slim chain wrapped around it. The water flowing from its mouth flicked wildly as it thrashed with angry growls filling the cave.

Tony cried out in horror as its great claws dug the rock from beneath it, unbearable in its deafening pitch. He stumbled back from the hideous monster and once more tripped. Vertigo caught him in its grasp, as suddenly there was no ground beneath him. With icy chilled pain of water surrounding him, Tony flailed about as he sucked in a lungful of liquid death.

Gagging and choking for air, Tony was swept away by the vicious current unable to find up from down. With luck, he was able to catch onto a rock and use it to push himself above the merciless force. Head breaking the surface, he gasped and retched as he expelled what water he could from his lungs. The sounds of anguished howls and growls slowly grew quieter as the current carried him further away into complete darkness.

Unable to discern which direction he should swim to safety, Tony just focused on trying to keep his head above water. His lungs burned and his skin was already numb from the cold. His limbs—already overtaxed by all the running and now—they were essentially useless against the foaming river.

Tony cried out in horror, only half a breath in his lungs when he was sucked under by the undertow and the current suddenly picked up in speed. The channel of the river decreased in size drastically as he was pushed through wildly, head and body knocking against rock and root alike. Precious air escaped his lips in bubbles as he shot through the cramped opening and out into deep open water.

He spun lazily in circles as his head swam in a daze, his ears popping from the pressure. His eyes blearily opened as he felt a soft current pulling him along. Giant fish of unknown origin swam past him, their huge eyes watching him in wonder. When one got close enough, he pushed off from its gleaming back, and tiredly swam to the surface.

Able to breathe once more, Tony sucked in greedy mouthfuls, his heart racing a mile a minute even as his body slowed down and tired from the cold. He glanced around him, able to see light and realized he was no longer near the forest. Turning around against the soft current, Tony was shocked to realize that he could see Valhalla behind him, several boats docked on the outskirts of Asgard.

"Help!" He cried out weakly, hoping against hope that someone would hear. His hands flailed against the surface, his legs hardly kicking. His mouth kept ducking beneath, unable to hold above for much longer. He watched as a bridge of many colors passed him by from above. At the sight of a domed building, Tony tried valiantly to swim to it at no avail.

The current wouldn't let him leave and at the sound of falling water, Tony knew without a doubt that there was no point. It was over. He cried out piteously as he thought about how much he really wanted to make Clint eat his own arrows.

Tony went over the edge of the waterfall, a huge sense of vertigo sucking at his stomach and his eyes all but bugged out at the sight of the ceaseless abyss below him. What a way to end an already shitty day. And if Tony wasn't so busy choking on his own lungs, he'd be cursing his luck and wondering how the hell it all even worked out like this. Vaguely he thought about how long he had before the vacuum of space would cause his head to implode. With a helpless scream Tony fell.

Fuck his life with a rusty knife.

_Seriously._

In a strange flash of light, he disappeared.

.:.:.:.:.

In an equally as blinding flash, Tony fell and hit the floor with a painful thump. Dazed, tired, and hurting so badly he couldn't move, he just laid there on his stomach. The floor was ice-cold stone, rubbed smooth from the path of traveling feet. He huffed for air greedily as his body slowly began shutting down, needing rest and needing it right away. His head hurt something fierce, he could even feel disconcerting warmth dribbling down the side of his cheek in an odd second hand sort of way.

His eyes fluttered in exhaustion as everything continued to spin even though he wasn't moving, his thoughts blurred and his body heavy as lead. He coughed weakly as the cold drove all sense from his mind.

The sound of angry footsteps approaching reached his waterlogged ears. He could spy the unfocused outline of leather boots a few inches away through his half closed eyes.

"What's this? A lost soul come to play? You are quite lost indeed to find this place, fool."

Tony was too tired to quip, his tongue a weighted obstacle within his mouth. He must have gurgled some response for the voice huffed in disdain.

"Incredibly foolish. How could one such as you have the ability to even find this safe haven? Not even an Asgardian, but a mortal." A boot pushed at Tony's shoulder, roughly flopping him over onto his back. Tony groaned in dissatisfaction. "… Not only a mortal, but one halfway into the grips of Hel herself."

_Oh fuck off…_ Tony thought, sick of the condescension. He was too tired for this shit. So, Tony decided it would be better to sleep it off and closed his eyes. He heard a hiss and the swishing of clothing before a rough jostle against his shoulder jerked him closer to wakefulness.

"Do not sleep, fool. You truly will catch your death then."

Tony's eyes cracked open in irritation, just wanting to sleep. He spied annoyed green glaring back. In his state of half consciousness, Tony feared that the great beast within the mountain had followed him to finish him off. But as his gaze focused he caught sight of a straight nose and pale skin, not the fur of a monster.

_He has a very handsome face_, Tony chuckled deliriously. He undertook the task of lifting a hand that weighed a thousand kilos to pat the man's face. He giggled some more as he slurred almost unintelligibly. "You're pretty."

The man's eyes widened in surprise, the irritation fleeing his bright eyes as Tony's hand dropped to the ground. Tony didn't remember closing his eyes again either, but he did and he was swiftly being carried away into sleep.

Or that might have been actual hands lifting him from the ground and carrying him to some unknown destination. Tony couldn't say; it was all foggy at that point.

He swore he did hear a, "Foolish mortal…" at some point again though.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

1\. Phillip Astley was known as the father of the modern circus. While, back in the day he didn't label his amphitheater as a circus as rivals had already assumed that title. So, Astley's Royal Amphitheatre it was. It was quite famous during the late 18th century and through the 19th. It was torn down in 1893.

We all know Hawkeye started off in a circus with his bro. I just changed the time era, the same issues more or less happened. There will be more background given eventually on Hawkeye.

2\. Tyr was the god of war, and also the one who fed Fenrir. When Fenrir was bound by Gleipnir—the thin chain that binds him—Tyr's hand was bitten off by Fenrir. It made sense to me that he would guard the wolf's "lair" so fools like Hawkeye and Iron Man don't accidently release him. Of course, Fenrir was also bound a mile below ground in isolation to also dissuade morons but what can you do? Idiocy begets idiocy regardless of precautions.

3\. Fenrir is known as the Vánagandr, 'the monster of the river Ván.' The River 'Expectations.' Again, Norse mythology tied into Marvel verse. Due to his ceaseless thrashing, the river flows from Fenrir's mouth, the sword stopping him from closing his maw. In Marvel verse we all know of the water surrounding Asgard before falling literally over the side in a great waterfall. It made sense to me that an underground river that would flow through the rocks of the mountain and out into the water surrounding: a sieve. (Those things are _terrifying_. Look it up.) Voilà, Tony à la over-the-edge-of-the-world.

4\. Did my Clint seem well enough in character? He gives me trouble, the flighty bird...


	5. Chapter 5

Holy delayed update, Batman!

Happy New Years everyone. Thank you for the reviews, now enjoy.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

_Chapter Four_

Thor stood beside his father, arms crossed along his chest. T'was the following morn and the conclusion of yesterday's meeting would shortly commence. Everyone had assembled, excluding Tony and Barton. They were mingling quietly, voices tight with unease about the topic to be discussed.

Glancing to his father, he noted the irritation gathering at the corner of his mouth. They had been waiting an hour already for the small man. Thor pressed his lips grimly. Tony was _not_ making a good _second_ first opinion… The thunder god sighed discreetly. He liked Tony, truly. But he certainly wasn't ingratiating himself to Odin _at all. _Barton certainly wasn't endearing himself either.

The loose silence lasted for 20 minutes more before Odin firmly called, "Barton," causing more than a few to jump in surprise.

Everyone gathered turned to address the All Father. His glare deepened at the far wall. With pursed lips he continued, "Where is Barton and where is Anthony Stark?"

Thor shifted his weight, looking about himself. "Perhaps they have lost track of time? I sensed camaraderie between them, even at this early stage."

Steve sniffed, not amused. "That does not excuse them from meetings."

Thor twisted to look his fellow man in the eyes. "I did not say that, merely a possibility."

Odin tapped Gungnir against the ground. "Speculation does us no favors. We cannot delay much longer. We must find them. Natasha!"

The red head bowed her head, "Sir?"

He waved her along. "Head out. Find them both. Bring them here. Promptly."

She nodded once and turned to leave when the door burst open. All eyes turned to the newcomer. Odin straightened in surprise. "Tyr? Rare is it that you grace these halls. What may I do you?"

Tyr bowed his head in greeting, before glaring harshly. "I bring ill news, All Father. I know of where your men were yesterday." Tyr's eyes darkened. Many present glanced to one another in worry. "This foolish man of yours, your general Clint Barton, took your newest general to Thviti, _to the Vánagandr himself._"

Everyone present froze, incredulous and terrified glances were cast about eventually falling on Odin. His voice was deafening in the silence. "_What?"_

Tyr's thin lips pressed more firmly together, a nod his answer. "Aye. When I confronted them, your _general,"_ he clenched his fist, a hiss escaping gritted teeth. "Barton ran away like a _coward._ _Leaving _the unknowing mortal behind to fend for himself!"

Odin's grip upon Gungnir tightened, the creaking of leather sounding loudly in the room. Thor felt icy dread and shock run down his spine.

Tyr stepped closer to the All Father, a despaired frown upon his brow and arms spread in a placating matter. "The man; Anthony Stark… He went into the mountain. He entered Thviti and down into the ground."

Odin's eye widened as scandalous whispers bounced about the room. Thor's arms fell from across his chest, fear churning in his gut. _"What?_" Thor stepped forwards, skin cold and clammy. "Tyr, tell me you jest."

The harsh glare sent his way silenced Thor. Tyr grit out, "I would never jest about something this dire. I followed him _down_, until there was no light and further. I went to the beast himself and not once did I find him."

Steve muttered a curse as Bruce swiped at his glasses with the edge of his tunic. Tyr looked into the eyes of everyone and settled on Odin. "I fear you have already lost your general my liege."

.:.:.:.:.

Clint hopped up onto a higher branch, the tree creaking with his added weight. "I swear to god I've been up, down and all around this godforsaken forest. Where _are_ you, Tony?" His intense gaze alighted on everything. Every spec of dust that seemed disturbed was placed under intense scrutiny. The archer would miss nothing should there be anything.

With a tremendous yawn, Barton leapt down to the forest floor, running further into the foliage. All evening, night, and morning had he searched for Tony with no results. Clint scanned the horizon, desperate but steady.

The Nine forbid him return without word or hair of Tony. Clint paled at the thought… He couldn't bare the thought of Odin and his wrath. Been there done that, thank you. He leapt over a small gorge and continued on his way.

… How in all of Asgard had he lost _one_ man? One so outgoing and annoyingly loud as Tony?! He pursed his lips. "… God damn it." He'd just have to keep looking then, wouldn't he?

.:.:.:.:.

It was hot, it was cold; the room span in circles and yet never moved. Why, Tony believed he was going mad. Was he sweating? Yes, he was sweating and thirsty. Tony panted for air, completely delirious.

The rim of something cool and solid touched his lips and his head was lifted a bit. Cold water flowed into his mouth and he greedily drank. Far too soon for his liking, the glass was pulled away and he was lain back down with a whiny grunt.

He was once more whisked away by strange dreams and flashes of green light.

.:.:.:.:.

Herja knocked upon the door before slipping inside. Her father and many of his warriors turned to her. She bowed her head in respect and lowered to one knee. "All Father."

He distractedly bade her rise, so she did. Herja was surprised to see Tyr amongst the warriors assembled. Odin continued whatever conversation was being held. "Are you certain of this? Are you _certain_ there was no sign of him? That he has fallen?"

Tyr nodded once. "I saw no answer to either death nor life. But the dread wolf is great and terrible."

Herja felt worry grip her breast. Moving closer to her brother Thor, examining his grim face. "Brother," she nodded in greeting and it was returned. She stood beside him, arms upon hips. "What has passed? Why is Odin so harried?"

Thor looked to her from the corner of his eyes. "… We believe Tony Stark has fallen to the dread wolf."

Worry was a vice around her throat, her heart a gallop. "The Nine help us," she turned to her brother. "Are they certain?"

He shook his head firmly in the negative. "That is what Odin and Tyr discuss right now. But knowing what we know of Vánagandr…" haunted eyes looked into her own. "His prospects are grim."

Herja gripped her hips tighter, eyes burning a hole into the floor. Odin spoke up. "And what of Barton? Have you seen hide or hair of him since?"

"Nay," Tyr said with purpose. "I have not. I did search for him after I was unable to find Tony. If he ran to hide, he has buried himself well within the forest. Perhaps the help of Heimdall is required?"

Odin opened his mouth to answer when a giant boom shook the room. Everyone froze, surprise causing hesitation and confusion. All was silent.

Fandral shifted around, knees bent and hands at the ready. "Alright! Any ideas as to wha—"

Another, louder boom crashed the room around, knocking all off their feet. Valhalla shook with deafening screeches. Scrambling to his or her feet, everyone ran to the adjoining balcony.

Herja felt the blood drain from her face. "By the Nine…" she whispered in horror. A giant chasm cracked the furthest wall of Valhalla, pieces falling to the ground surrounding and Asgard was on fire. Asgardians—looking all but ants from this distance—scurried around. The sounds of distant screams teased her ears, another crater at the edge of the city burned with red, red fire. Men with silver and green bodies and shambling steps emerged from the holocaust. Swords that glowed blue and staffs that shot blasts began firing indiscriminately.

Odin's aura changed into a deadly miasma. "Steve, Bruce, Natasha… Gather your troops. Evacuate all civilians that you can, defeat those who get in your way. "The generals bowed and left the room, Steve spouting additional orders. "Herja, gather your sisters, you shall be the first wave. Enter the city and destroy all enemies. Protect this city."

Herja nodded and began striding towards the door. She heard Odin continue," Thor you and your warriors protect the innermost circle; protect Valhalla and its courts. Tyr, go to the destruction upon Valhalla. Check for survivors, destroy everything else."

As she opened the door and began down the hallway, Odin's voice echoed down the hall. "_No mercy."_

.:.:.:.:.

Distant concussions drew Clint's attention back into the direction of Asgard. Glancing from his high perch upon the mountain, he observed for any clues. At the sight of black smoke rising into the air, he cursed. "Well, that can't be good."

Looking back towards the forest, he turned towards Asgard and began hopping and sliding down the mountain. "… Sorry Tony, Asgard comes first. I really hope you're okay though, you son of a bitch." The archer dodged about trees and made his way as fast as possible back to the city that needed him, eyes alert for any threat.

.:.:.:.:.

A voice tsk'd and the sounds of footsteps leaving echoed around in Tony's head. Green lights danced about and shadows grabbed at the rays, forming a strange fever induced puppet show within his mind's eye. Tony couldn't stop chuckling, tiny serpents lazily swirling with quiet hisses. Or… that could have been a kettle whistling.

Was that tea he smelled? Warm hands lifted his head once more, dancing lightly across his chin and propping open his lips and a different solid rim from before pressed against his flesh. Hot fluid swam into his mouth, trickling down his lax throat. That's when something strange began to pick at Tony's scattered attention.

His heart was pounding, throbbing against his ribs really. He began positively dripping sweat and his limbs ached and twitched, a hefty drawn out whine slipping past clenched teeth. And then the heat spiked in his chest and Tony gasped, his heavy lids all but popping open. He practically leapt from where he lay as if it were on fire, a breathy "_Whoa!"_ gusting from him.

His fingers danced about his ribs as he felt for damage, heaving in air like he was starved for it, heart a mile a minute, eyes shifty and everywhere at once. "Oh my _god_, wha-what the hell was _in that_?!"

Tony paced like a caged animal, unable to stand still.

A smooth voice called from the shadows. "T'was a spell. To induce an excited state with copious amounts of energy."

Tony's eyes flicked everywhere, scanning everything and hands continuously rubbing at his chest, fingernails scratching at the edge of the arc reactor. "Are you telling me you forced me into an adrenaline rush? What good would fight or flight do a fevered man?"

The voice spoke, full of wry amusement. "Not quite. It's more comparable to that of ingesting too many sweets."

That forced Tony to stop, and stare at the shadows, eyes wide and twitching involuntarily. "So what you're saying is… you more or less gave me a _sugar high?!_"

"… More or less."

Tony shook his head side to side and began pacing once more. "Well jee, Mr. Mysterioso, did ya _think_ about how the come down would effect me?! I gotta-I gotta worry about the crash! _Oh god._" Tony abruptly stopped his frantic pacing and looked to the shadows in fright. "I need to keep my high going until this fevers breaks or else I'm gonna be worse for it after. Do you have any glucagon shots?!"

The voice shifted as the man moved, a wicked smile present in every syllable. "I do believe you are overrea—"

"_Overreacting?! _I'm gonna crash, then I'm gonna-gonna burn, and then I'm gonna be nothing but a stick of charcoal. And all you tall ass Asgardians are gonna use me as the royal writing utensil and use my face to write down the names of people who-died-in-crazy-stupid-ways! I can see it now; first name on the list: _Tony Stark!_" Tony spoke so fast, his words slurred together as he paced wildly. His eyes filled with water and he stopped and grabbed roughly at his hair. With a sob, he whispered. "I don't wanna be a pencil…"

When his addled mind settled enough, he took note of the odd texture around his head. Feeling along his forehead, he felt soft fabric caressing his skin. "And why am I wearing a headband? Were the woman shirts not good enough?! Is someone trying to make a statement about me?!"

A solid hand snagged onto his shoulder with an annoyed hiss right before Tony was yanked backwards to sit back in his original placement. The voice from the shadows continued irately as Tony lamented the loss of his masculinity.

"If you would quiet and _listen,_ your baseless fears would be assuaged. If you had _heard_ me in the beginning of this mess—which is highly doubtful considering you seem to like the sound of your own voice to that of the sound of reason—you would know that it was a _spell_ which caused you to be in this… highly annoying and frenzied state. You will have no adverse effects to your person once it wears off, as the purpose was to force you to break your fever.

"But, due to current circumstances, I regret even considering the spell work. You were preferable slumbering halfway to death…"

Tony cast a glare at the ground, not looking up from his panic driven shock. The man continued in the background, voice wavering in closeness as he moved about the room. "As for the supposed 'headband' upon your brow… it is not an accessory, but dressings. During your incredibly stupid escapades before reaching my domain you battered your skull. There was an abrasion along your hairline and temple. There is a salve to help it heal. The bandage is there to keep it clean and the salve in place."

Irritated, Tony lifted his head to curse the insulting man and pulled up short, mouth still open wide and heart galloping now for more reasons than adrenaline. Hazy memories of green eyes staring coldly at him sprawled on an icy floor floated through his hyperactive mind.

Black hair like ink tumbled around shoulders incasing a thin frown and aristocratic features. Tony couldn't help it, really he couldn't. He blurted before he could stop himself, "You're pretty."

The mysterious man's green eyes shot wide in surprise, head jerking back. He blinked owlishly before sneering in Tony's direction. "And now it appears that I did not take into account possible brain damage. You are repeating yourself."

Tony's brows furrowed as he shivered wildly, feeling his heart begin to slow down its wild race but mind still running in infinite directions. "Really, I am? Oh god, I'm calling people pretty. That's such a rookie mistake. Please tell me I didn't attempt to hold your hand and wax poetic about your delicious body."

The Asgardian's sneer deepened. "I do not care for your satire. It is pointless."

Tony smirked suavely, head tilting just so—that sweet spot that he knew made people swoon and lust, what made him look boyishly handsome. "Oh, so I'll take that as a no I didn't…. Did you want me to?"

The man leaned further away and frowned deeper. "You are far beneath me, mortal."

Tony's eyes brightened in mischief, having far too much fun teasing the bewildered male. "I wouldn't mind being beneath you; or over you, I'm not picky and _oh so… flexible._"

The dark man's eyebrows cocked at the sheer audacity. "Let it be known that you are not shy with your statements, mortal man. You would do well to reign yourself in. There are many who would sooner cut out your tongue than suffer your idiocy."

Tony pouted obscenely. "_Aaw,_ but it's _such_ a talented tongue." Tony pulled back at the terrifying glare thrown in his direction. Shaking his head to clear it, he rubbed at the bandages swathed around his skull. "Sorry," he stated in mild confusion and realization. "I become an awful horn dog flirt when I'm high. And currently I'm high off spell sugar and endorphins. Shit, even I can tell how cheesy and awful those lines were. Ugh, _god_ put me out of my misery!"

Tony hid his face in his hands as he heard boot steps approach him. "That could be arranged. I'd be more than happy to oblige. Tony glared at the smug look tossed his direction.

"I bet you don't have many friends with that _cuddly wuddly_ disposition of yours," Tony quipped heatedly.

The tall man instantly returned fire, "And I would wager that you chase everyone else off with your insistent blather."

_Touché, good lookin'._ Tony smirked from behind his palms, a mental count beginning. He'd have to step up to his A-game. He would _not_ lose this battle of wits. It was in this moment of clarity—when the rush from the spell had worn off—that Tony realized something. "Hey!"

The Asgardian turned his attention back to Tony with a moue of absolute dourness. "And manners would go a long way in finding that which you seek, _fool._ I tire of your continued impudence in my presence."

With an exaggerated air, Tony regally swept to his feet. "Oh, I'm so_ sorry_, your Royal Assface." He mockingly bowed deeply, as the Asgardian mouthed the mockery in disbelief. "Let me practice my curtsies and Shakespearian speech. Ahem! … 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks.'"

A wicked grin split Tony's face as the disgust grew distinguished on the other male.

A sibilant whisper harshly caressed his ears. "What care I for your pointless Midgardian sonnets?"

Tony's brows raised in pleasant surprise. "Oh? But obviously you know what it is. Your statement incriminates you."

The green eyes narrowed as the taller man stalked threateningly towards Tony. To Tony's surprise, he felt heated interest tingle up his spine, causing his toes to curl against the cold stone—_when did he lose his shoes?!—_and his pupils to dilate. The air was charged with tension and danger and Tony was becoming high once more but with the surrealism of it all. The Asgardian was so close; Tony could practically _taste_ the malice coming from the other man. It tickled the part of him that craved the thrill of peril and uncertainty. The taller man bared his teeth and snarled.

"You play a foolish game that you know not the consequences of." He stepped closer and froze. His eyes shot huge as he took in Tony's face and close position. With an abortive step back, he put some distance between them, eyes shooting from one point on Tony to another. "… Far too assertive. Brash, foolish. You will be dead before your time."

With a dashing smile, Tony rested his palms on his hips. "I've been told that a few times before. But enough of how devilishly irresistible I am!" A flat look was shot his direction as tall, dark, and handsome attempted to put some more distance between them. It was obvious he knew that Tony was purposefully being obtuse. "But, before we shot off on this oh so _stimulating_ tangent… I wanted to know your name."

The loose shoulders tensed visibly as he hunched in on himself. Suspicious eyes turned to glare over one broad shoulder. "… And why would you need to know that?"

Tony shrugged. "Well, to thank you properly for saving my life." At the blank look, Tony rolled his eyes and scratched at his—_oh god, it was going to overgrow his face! —_still incredibly itchy beard. He glared back. "Look, I realize that I don't _seem_ capable of humility. But there's a couple seconds everyday that I'm allotted to show someone else how thankful I am. And this little spiel you're making me spit out is eating up your precious few seconds."

The Asgardian had the audacity to turn around and stare him in the eye before smirking beatifically; beatifically in a worn and tarnished sense. His poisonous lips opened and words as dark as curses poured forth. "You needn't worry yourself over my name, mortal. T'is a curse upon this land and all who deem it unworthy of being spoken. Keep your thanks and spare yourself your very long winded breath."

Cold, tired eyes glanced him up and down as a green glow incased a slim palm. "I doubt we shall ever lay eyes upon one another again." His hand abruptly pressed to Tony's chest, right below the arc reactor. With a great sense of vertigo—Jesus, not again—Tony pitched backwards with a terrified yelp and fell into green tinged blackness.

_Ugh! I hate Asgard!_

.:.:.:.:.

Mayhem, it was complete mayhem. Herja leapt from the shoulders of one fallen foe and rolled under the swipe of another's sword. Stabbing upwards, she slammed her shield behind her to incapacitate the enemy behind her long enough for her to pull her sword from the gut before her and into the fool she had just knocked senseless.

It was ceaseless; they were not prepared for this at all. The civilians were not forewarned enough. She stepped over bodies of innocents and felt such disgust. Who could find themselves above reproach enough to slaughter the young and the meek? Slaughter those that could not defend themselves?

She danced around mace swings and spear stabs, she parried and struck and blocked with all the finesse years of servitude and practice could hone. A lucky shot grazed her arm with a pronounced sting. In retaliation she twisted and slammed the butt of her sword into the temple of the pale warrior. He fell like a pile of stones and did not move again. She paused to look at the fallen enemy. These creatures did not bleed, but sparked. Their joints crackled blue and lightning bolts spat from limbs when they were severed. Their husks crushed like metal, not like flesh and bone. Growling, she leapt over the body. These metal men…

Running towards Valhalla to thin the herds, she caught glimpses of Thor knocking down countless foes with Mjolnir, the static of electricity thinning the air. Shockwaves pulsed the ground with each strike. His warriors and lady Sif, were near by downing foe after foe, all moving in synchronization. It was a thing of awful beauty and she was proud to call them shield brothers and sister.

Herja cried out in alarm as the ground below her feet bulged and exploded, flinging her quite a distance, a horrid pain blooming from her brow. She unsteadily climbed to her feet as a behemoth of a metal man climbed up before her, monstrous in height and mass. She staggered forwards, tightening her grip on her sword and shield with a grit of her teeth, attempting to focus her swimming eyes on the obstacle before her.

_Shit_. She vaguely took note of fallen Valkyrie sisters' heads strewn about in a macabre chain on his waist. Rage and fury and despair filled her massive shriek, a flash of lightning answering the call. Tears poured from her eyes as she leapt at this _animal_, so intent on avenging her sisters. A massive glowing blue axe came down, knocking her sword clean from her grip and shattering her wrist with the force. Crying out in pain, she staggered back and to her knees.

Glaring death upon his blank face, a random thought passed her worn mind. _Tony Stark… I hope you are faring better wherever you are… if you still live._

And then she leapt to her feet once more to finish this, switching to her other hand.

.:.:.:.:.

Steve ran through the ruins, hunting for more cornered civilians, hoping to find more than he currently had found. It all happened so fast; they were unable to reach everyone. Now it was just damage control with Asgardian lives the collateral. His lips pinched together in anger, eyes searching frantically for any life. He hefted countless rubble as he yanked women after child after elder from the piles. The sounds of fighting and pained screams filled his ears.

He ran through the wreckage, tossing his shield like a boomerang, knocking the heads off several foes. Tucking and rolling behind a fallen wall, Steve looked about for his fellow generals. He spotted Natasha weaving through the shadows, blades shining like lethal lights before plunging into the sides of enemies. Bruce was a violent, green roar surrounded by smashing and screeches.

With his attention distracted, Steve didn't see the man sneaking up behind him, a glowing sword raised with deadly intent. Just as it began its descent, the high whiz of a projectile sounded followed by the crunch of contact. Steve swirled around, shield lifted in defense, before relaxing. He kicked the man away as he fell, an arrow embedded deep within his forehead, sparks flying from the puncture.

Rising to his feet, Steve slung the shield onto his back just as Clint dropped onto the roof above him. The blonde smirked in relief and pointed at the archer. "Good timing." A frown swiftly followed. "Where have you been? How could you leave Tony like that?"

Clint winced as he climbed to a higher perch. "I know… I thought that he had followed me out there." Hefting himself into a view with as much visual as possible, he began firing off rapid shots, gaze directed to Steve. The groans of foes falling sounded around them. "I've spent the whole time since then searching for him in that damned forest. Once I heard the explosions I returned here."

Steve bashed a man down, stomping on his head. Natasha rolled into view with a knife buried into the neck of another. She gracefully rose and stalked toward her fellow generals. "Tony went into the mountain. Tyr believes Fenrir ate him."

Clint paled, firing one more arrow. "_Shit._"

She stared up at him blankly. "Yeah. Shit."

Steve shook his head in shame. Meeting the gaze of the archer he sighed. "For your sake, Clint. Let's hope he _didn't_ eat Tony and that he turns up eventually… as he is wont to do."

Clint dropped down to the ground besides him, moving to another position, picking up arrows as he went, muttering. "… No kidding."

.:.:.:.:.

"Holy _mother_ of _GOD!"_ Tony cried as he flew through the air before crashing face first into the ground. Bouncing with the momentum, he flipped and rolled, slowly sliding to a stop upon his back. Heaving for air, lungs bruised and winded, Tony laid there unable to move. "N-note to self," he gasped. "Never piss off… green eyed divas."

As he tried to catch his breath, and do physical inventory—_spine? Hurts like a sonuva bitch. Legs? Tingly but manageable. Head? Swimming. Oh _boy_ that was fun. Face? Ow_—the sounds of combat floated to him. With a massive groan, he flopped over onto his stomach, fingers gingerly rubbing at his bloody nose.

"I swear to _god_ if that bastard ruined my face… Gorgeous or _no_! …. He's a dead man." Sniffling against the steady stream from his nose, the metallic taste washing down the back of his throat, he unsteadily rose to his feet. Looking around him, he took in his surroundings.

"Okay, so tree. Tree. _Tree._ _Tree. _Treeee and tree. Beautiful. Captain, it appears I'm in some kind of forest!" Rubbing at his scruffy and grimy chin, Tony wondered which direction was the correct direction… He might also have been having a mini meltdown over how absolutely repulsive he felt.

An explosion far into the distance caught his attention once more. Brown eyes stared off that way. Smart people would go the opposite way. Geniuses would know that that meant people and people meant civilization, albeit civilization amidst violent bloody dispute. Thank god almighty that Tony was a genius, right?

Turning towards the sounds, Tony began limping. Ripping a strip from his dirty, torn and basically garbage shirt to help stem the bleeding from his nose. He didn't need to look anymore like a beaten up hobo, thank you very much. Using trunks to help stabilize his steps on the uneven and slightly treacherous terrain, he slowly made his way back towards what he hoped was Asgard.

Dreaming of a nice long shower and an extra long coma-esque nap, Tony staggered through the forest. Swiping at his nose with the strip of fabric, he hissed. "Man, I'm really starting to hate this place." Looking left and right, _assuming_ he was going the right way but uncertain, he huffed. "And I really miss Jarvis… Where the hell am I at? How far…? Damn it, I need my things. Tired of being beaten up… and lost."

Another explosion sounded, much louder than the last. Encouraged, Tony picked up the pace, tripping over hidden roots in his haste. He'd lost track of how long he'd been wandering through the forest, but at the first sight of the thinning of trees, he grew even more heartened. Stumbling out the copse, he stood blinking the bright light of day from his tired eyes, leaning away from intense heat. Shielding his eyes as best he could, he frantically looked about.

Dirtied and bloodied people of all ages were running from the city, some half crawling, others pulling themselves along by their fingers. "Holy _shit!_"

Tony rushed forwards and began hefting people to their feet, pulling others along as best he could with his smaller stature. Countless hands held onto him, thankful words of appreciation as they tried to help him too. And he kept staggering back, grabbing more and more, as many as he could. So many, _too many_, Asgardians lay upon the ground unmoving with halos of red.

Tony grit his teeth and soldiered on, ignoring the anger for the moment; there were people who needed him. When the sounds of blasts and lasers firing drew closer, he turned in worry towards the burning city. A robot burst through the wall of a half collapsed building, its gaze turning to them. Filled with surprise, Tony choked. "_Doombots?_ _What?"_

The Doombot raised its energy sword—that was _so_ new!—and drew closer. With mounting horror, Tony jumped in front of the Asgardians wishing with everything he was that he had his armor. As the Doombot grew closer, its head suddenly went flying as a shield flew through it and lodged into the tree right beside Tony. "_Oh my god!"_ He staggered backwards, falling to his bottom. "_Holy shit!"_

Steve jumped through the wreckage of the wall the Doombot had originally entered from. Upon spying the decapitated bot and the unharmed Asgardians, Steve turned his focus to Tony and froze. "_Tony?!"_ Haltingly running over to his fellow general, Steve snagged Tony's arm and hefted him to his feet, blue eyes bright with relief and concern. "Jesus Tony, you are beat to pieces! What in the Nine happened to you?"

Tony could only stare at the husk at his feet in confusion. Shaking his head, Tony slowly turned to Steve. "Why is a Doombot here?"

The blonde's brow furrowed in confusion as well, before solidifying into a harsh frown. "You know who did this? Whose man this is?"

Tony nodded, dazedly, all the trauma catching up with him again as the adrenaline left him high and dry. "Well yeah, Dr. Doom. But how did he get to Asgard?"

Steve pursed his lips and lifted one of Tony's arms over his shoulder. "Come with me. We need to take you to Odin, he needs to know." Tony nodded his ascent and as they passed the defeated bot, Tony watched it with unease as Steve yanked his shield from the bark of the tree. He continued watching as familiar blue electricity crackled about the metal sporadically, the bot spasming with it.

_What_ _was going on?!_

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

**1\. **Thviti was the stone used to keep the post that holds Fenrir in place. It is said that Fenrir is buried far below the surface. Made sense to me that the stone that holds him in place is also what he is buried beneath.

**2\. **So begins the action/adventure of this story. Don't worry, it gets crazier. And all will be explained! (Over time) Also, I used the color scheme from Fantastic Four, 2005 for the Doombots.

**3\. **Did I do a good job portraying people? I feel like I'm _awful_ at getting characters right. Please, let me know how I did.


End file.
